Complete Guide on What Men Want in Bed (2020)

Why do women or rather, everyone have a conception that men are just wild beasts, and all they want is to get inside a woman and cum?

This is what pop-culture shows us, but here’s the thing, men want to be seduced too, just like any woman.

What you see on the television is way different than what actually happens in  bedrooms. Intimacy is very personal

While many men appreciate honesty from their partners,; sometimes, you also need to be in charge of enhancing your level of intimacy.

Here is the complete guide on what men want in bed.

Read it, go through it, and understand why sometimes, your partner, though in the mood, isn’t really enjoying the entire sexual activity. 

We hope this guide will help you to create better intimacy.

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Your partner also wants to make love

Couples try all sorts of sexual positions. While trying different positions can surely spice up your sex life, sometimes rather than just craving for different intimate positions, they also like to make love, meaning they also prefer to be in the moment and enjoy it.

There is a massive misconception that men are only running after sex, and they don’t really bother about their partners’ feelings. This is not true at all. We are not talking about the one-night stand or casual hookups that you go for; we are talking about real intimate moments between real couples.

Men, just like women, also like to have meaningful sex with their partners. Something that will make them happy and feel good about their masculinity. Rather than having a quickie or rough sexual intercourse, some men prefer to take things slow, and gradually head towards the climax.

Men can be just as passionate as women about having slow and intimate sex with their partners.

Let him know that He is Desirable

When was the last time you looked at your man as if he is the only good-looking man ever alive? Have you ever made him feel good about his masculinity? Leave everything aside, don’t you like it when he looks at you with admiration when you dress well or appreciate you just like that?

The same thing goes for your partner too. Not that they want to be informed 24x7 that they are desirable, but little things like a long sweet glance or a profoundly intimate kiss make your partner feel good about his presence too. Men can feel as vulnerable as women do.

They are also concerned about how they look, how good you feel having them around, and things like that.

laying and fooling around with your partner can be a great initiative to start having sex, but even if it doesn’t escalate to sexual moments, small things like grabbing his butt jokingly or blowing a kiss make him feel desirable.

Men Do Like to experience varieties

What works best for you might not be the ideal choice for your partner. The crux here is to identify what your man wants and likes. Some men are into anal play along with vaginal penetration, while others wish to receive blowjobs before getting into the main action.

Rather than asking them right away about what they want, you can try to play around different sexual activities. Most men enjoy blowjobs, so this is one thing that you can get into right away. Look at him while you give him a blowjob, watch his expressions, and ask him if he would like to have a deepthroat.

mutual masturbation

The key here is to include different things as much as possible, so that you can enhance your sexual relationship. If you don’t try, how would you know what your man wants?! Don’t stick to only one or two techniques; try as many as you can.

Plus, the more you explore, the more fun both of you are going to have.

Your partner wants you to initiate sometimes

Many men complain that when it comes to sex, it’s always they who have to begin. Now, that’s a big complaint! Your man wants to feel wanted, needed and desired. So, let him know that you want him physically and sexually as much as he does.

There is no harm in initiating sex all by yourself. You will get the signals whether your partner is in the mood or not. The best way to initiate sex is by touching your partner gently, give him a nice gentle massage, let him get subtle hints from your touch about what you are doing, and what you want.

Men love it when their lady throws hints about wanting to have sex with them:; this makes them feel that they are not forcing their partner to have sex with them. This way, you indirectly let them know that you desire them sexually as much as they do.

Here are some tips for you to initiate sex:

Get on Top 

Seduce your man first, and once he is ready, rather than letting him be on top, why don’t you reverse the role and be on top for a change? Let him relax for some time.

Take full control

To take full control, you can get on top of him, make him wear a blindfold while you tease his body, kiss his lips softly, give him a surprise blowjob. You can even include some sex toys for more fun as well. Let him know that you are going to dominate him.

Participate actively

If you really want to indulge your partner in an excellent sexual routine, show them that you are interested in having them as well. When we talk about participating, we it basically means that you need to show your partner that you too love taking charge.

Be on top of him, tease him, grind your hips on his, and touch his genital area. Tell him by your actions that you are all set to have him. Dance along, be playful and be naughty.

Be Honest to your partner

As we age, our sexual libido decreases. This is true, particularly in the case of women. Women tend to have lower sexual desires when they age. However, rather than just letting your partner have sex with you and lying on the bed as if you don’t care, it is better to communicate with your partner.

You need to tell him that you don’t feel the urge to have sex anymore. You should also seek medical help. Your partner might assist you in seeing a sex therapist. What is the purpose of having sex if you are not into it? Desires and cravings for sex occur naturally.

You can’t really build that desire, you should talk to your partner. Kitchen sex talks are the best. Talk to him when he is in a good mood, explain your problems, and then see what he has to say. There could be some personal problems as well.

Stress and anxiety also stop us from wanting to have sex more often. Why not explain all this to your partner? He is your better half, he will understand, mainly because even your partner wants to save the relationship. If you are in stress, ask for a head massage, cuddle him, embrace him in your arms.

Human touch has high healing power. Once he touches you gently, you will notice that your stress is decreasing with time.

If you still feel that talking and touch therapy is not helping you to feel excited, it is better to consult a therapist. ask your partner to accompany you, since he should be aware of the issues and challenges that you are facing.

Communicate as Much as you can

The key to a successful relationship is when you and your partner talk to one another often. You need to let him know more about the sexual activities you would like for both of them to try. Men love it when their partners share sexual ideas.

You may have watched a porn scene, and you may be interested in trying thatTalk to your partner about that, show them the movie, and play it while having sex. Ensure that you discuss your fantasies beforehand. The more you talk to one another, the better the sex will be.

When your partner initiates sexual conversation or starts touching you, and you are really not in the mood, you must tell him immediately.To avoid conflicts, be truthful about your emotions and feelings. Lying and pretending will hurt your partner’s feelings as well.

That’s why let them know why aren’t you ready and what is keeping you from having sex. Communication is the key to everything -; it will improve your relationship, and consequently, your sex life will improve as well.

Let your partner know that You are genuinely having a good time

See, some men can be selfish when it comes to sex, especially if you are having a casual fling. But, if you are in a relationship and a serious one, your partner will look after your satisfaction as well. If he controls his urge to cum to let you have an orgasm first, it means that he genuinely cares for you.

That’s why when you are getting intimate, try to be more open about how you are feeling at that moment. For example, look at him and smile, let him know through your smile that you love it, kiss him, scream with enthusiasm if you need to.

There is no thumb rule to let your partner know that you are enjoying the moment, just be yourself and let your actions be the signals for him.

He WANTS You to Do This in the Bedroom~

If you are not into the mood and you are just pretending and faking moaning, your partner will receive wrong signals and will keep on doing it, eventually making you uncomfortable. That’s a huge no. Your feelings are as important as your partner’s.

No person in their sane mind will keep having sex with you if you are feeling uncomfortable or are in pain, especially if he is your husband or boyfriend. If you know that it is your partner who mostly takes the initiative and he is a caring lover, then he would definitely appreciate it if you let him be aware of your emotions and feelings. 

After having sex, you can simply cuddle him and let him know verbally that you enjoyed it, in the morning give him a nice sultry kiss on his lips, or else once he goes out to the office, drop him a text letting him know that you can’t wait to have him again! These small little gestures are essential.

Take charge sometimes

Just like you take charge of your kitchen, chores, cleaning, and your office, it would be better if you sometimes take control of your sexual life too. While getting to know what your man wants from you, he will also get to learn what you would like to do in bed as well. That is an added bonus!

Show him all the dirty moves that you have got, seduce him, and make him crave for you. Men love surprises too, so take charge on some nightsand improve your sexual game. You can ask him directly what he would like from you, and give him what he wants.

Let him enjoy his own private porn show. The more you will show him what you like, the better you will be prepared for the future orgasms too. That’s why it is a good thing to take charge sometimes.

Your man wants to be Touched

Just like women, men too have a few erogenous zones. Giving him a handjob will definitely turn him on, but there are ways to turn your man on.? Don’t limit yourself to handjobs, touch his face, his inner thighs, and the chest as well. These things can really turn on your partner.

Apart from his penis, you can stroke his testicles, but be gentle. Enlighten your partner by touching him everywhere. This is a great way to let your partner know that you are feeling naughty.

Men Love it When you are vocal

When you breathe heavily and moan while having sex, it makes your partner realize that they are able to make you happy. You don’t really need to talk dirty, but if you want, you may, anything that you feel will make your partner realize that you are being satisfied.

It’s a huge signal to your man that you love his touch. If you can’t really express yourself well while having sex with your partner, try using some sex toys and play solo acts. You will know about the sounds that automatically come out of you.

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While having sex, almost everyone moans, and that happens naturally when you feel aroused, so, let the sounds come out of you, don’t hold back. Be free; it’s your private party with your partner, and a good one. So, have fun and keep letting your partner know that you are enjoying it.

Moaning signals to your partner that you might want to have an orgasm.

Pornography? Include that Too

While many women might object to this statement because after all, if your man is watching a porn movie and trying to masturbate, he is actually watching another woman having sex. But one shouldn’t make watching pornography a huge deal.

If you are not comfortable with the concept that your man likes to watch porn and masturbate, try to understand that he has been doing it before he even met you. He might want to watch porn just to feel excited and then come to you to have sex.

So rather than discarding it an impure substance, what you can do instead is ask him what makes him happy while watching it. This way, he will be able to open up. Maybe he likes how pornstars try different sexual positions, or perhaps, he likes the sound that the female pornstars makes.

Learn about it rather than making him feel guilty for watching porn. Also, the best way to feel comfortable about your guy watching porn is to watch it together while having sex. You can replicate some of the moves and also try to enact the scene.

Watching porn is honestly not a big deal unless your partner is completely addicted to it.

Give Some Feedback to your partner

This is where most of us go wrong. If you have a partner and you are serious about one another, then you must make sure to give regular feedback about your sexual routines.

We are not asking you to be absolutely blunt, for example, “why are you taking so long to cum?,, but generic feedback like, what makes you comfortable, which part of the entire course made you extremely pleased.

Some men will take additional time to reach the climax, while some men may ejaculate early, things happen. So, rather than showing dissatisfaction, take it out nicely. Even if you are unhappy with the fact that he is digging you for more than an hour and still isn’t able to ejaculate, let him feel relaxed.

Talk to him in between and tell him that you are happy that you are having sex. He will feel at ease. Once you guys are done, and if you would like to have another round of intimate sex, tell him.

When you give feedback and talk to each other more about sex, you allow your partner to understand what makes you happy. This way, your partner will know about your likes and dislikes, and according to that you can plan for your next intimate session.

Let Go of Fear

You don’t have to be as good as a professional pornstar on the bed. All you have to do is relax, let go of all the anxiety and stress that is holding you back. Sex is an excellent stress killer. It uplifts you, it clears your mind, and when you orgasm, you feel relaxed.

The same thing happens to your partner as well. Holding on to fears like you might not be able to perform well on bed, or you might not look good because you are heavy, or you won’t be able to cum will only double your anxiety.

That’s why you should release all the tensions and leave your fears at the bedroom door. If he initiates, it clearly means that he is into you and likes you just the way you are.

Women are mostly body-conscious, and most of the time, when they put on some weight, they avoid getting naked in front of their partner. This is a real mood killer. If your partner wants to have sex with you, it means that they are still into you.

Also, if you would like to put on some sexy lingerie that you have purchased, but aren’t wearing it just because you think you won’t look good in it, won’t do, and you must put it on for your man. This is what we mean by letting go of your fears.

Talk to him about his fantasies

Every person has some sexual fantasies. Instead of repeating the same sexual acts over and over again, try to get into his mind by sharing your fantasies first. Men sometimes feel intimidated when talking about their fantasies, primarily because they fear that they might get judged.

So, rather than waiting for your guy to talk about his fantasies, why don’t you take the opportunity to talk about yours. This will create some space and will also allow your partner to discuss their kinky fetishes. It is only when you speak, will you get to know about the commonalities between your fantasies.

talking swinger

Won’t it be great to have something in common and try it out? Clearing each other’s minds will allow you both to develop your relationship as well. If you want to try something new, or something which you have wanted to for some time, then let it out.

Simultaneously, after you talk about your feelings and your sexual desires, ask them if they too have some kind of unfulfilled desires. If you want to try anal sex, how would you know whether your partner is interested in anal sex unless you talk about it? So, start talking.

Parting words

Life is a blessing, and thankfully we have something called human touch. Human touch is a great way to feel good about ourselves, to feel relieved, and to realize that we are wanted. Just like women, men too have specific needs when it comes to sex. Don’t hold your thoughts back.

Try to understand what your man wants from you, try to open up, be honest, and don’t fake your orgasms, since you will be caught one day or the other, and that won’t make your partner happy

If you are into a serious relationship or married, or even if you are seeing someone casually, for now, both of your satisfaction is important.

Unless you understand the importance of what men want in bed, you will never be able to satisfy your partner, and this will unnecessarily create problems in your sexual life. That’s why talk, listen, and act! Be open and keep your ears and mind open too.

We hope this guide has made you understand what your partner really wants from you. Go on and try these tips that we have shared, with your partner today. Make him sit with you and try to talk.

Talk about what he would like to try the next time you have sex, touch him more often, kiss him, feel his body, and sometimes you should be the boss. Your man will love to see you ride his penis. Communication and open-mindedness are the keys to a successful bedroom relationship.

Go ahead and have fun with your partner tonight!

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