If you and your partner are thinking about joining a swingers club or visiting the most happening swingers party, then you have come to the right place.
Many people are interested in swinging; so it can can be total fun and the best way to explore each other’s partner sexuality and have fun.
However, if you are a newbie, then the first question that must have come to your mind is whether swinging is for you or not.
And the next issue which arises is whether swinging exists or not.
Well, welcome to the newbies club because these are the two most common questions that any newcomer asks.
You should think and ask about a few things if you desire to join a swingers club. And this is what this guide is all about. We hope to cover every aspect of the swingers' club and party.
How you should go about it, how should you be prepared and whether swinging is really for you or not: all such questions shall be answered.
The idea of swinging brings in a lot of excitement. The thought of getting to know other people, someone whom you might know or someone completely new and then having sex with that person could be fun for a few of you.
However, if you are in a relationship, then you may want to speak to your partner first before you get into the action.
So, is swinging right for you?
The first thing that you should think about is whether swinging is your cup of tea or not. Why do you want to join the swinging club? Do you have some desires or fantasies that you would like to fulfill when it comes to sexual activities?
Or do you want to join the swinging club because you feel that your sex life with your partner is no more exciting and you would like to spice it up eh? And finally, do you want to try swinging because you would want to have someone else or are probably thinking of having sex with the same gender.
Once you think about all these goals, you will understand why you are thinking of it in the first place. And then, you will be able to move on with the concept smoothly.
Swingers Lifestyle - What is a "Swinger" Anyway?
Secondly, think about your mental place. Can you deal with the anxiety of knowing that your partner is having sex with someone else and not you? Are you or your partner is choosing to swing because both of you are no longer interested?
Or could there be a reason that your relationship is hitting the rock bottom? How secure both of you are with this new concept and most importantly, can you trust each other even after having sex with different people?
Please note that swinging might come across as real fun for both of you, but if you think that swinging can heal a broken relationship, then the answer is it won't. In most cases, when the connection is in a lousy shape, swinging can cause even more problems.
So, ensure that both of you are in a great mental state and your relationship is as solid as a rock before you get into the real deal.
What Happens at a Swinger's Club?
Swinging doesn't involve a lot of emotional connection. Ask yourself what you are seeking in a swinging relationship. If you are more into a hookup, have sex and forget about the relationship or do you want someone you would like to bond with for a long time.
If you want something meaningful, then polyamory would be an ideal choice for you.
Ask yourself all these questions first before you pop up the term swinging to your partner. So approach your partner only then when you are prepared. Do remember that swinging can be quite intimidating for any of the parties.
But the more you guys will talk, the better it will be for you because you will have a better understanding of what both of you want. Now, below is a list of things that you should consider as you follow the swinger lifestyle.
How would you like to go about swinging?
Once you have discussed everything with your partner, now the time comes to take the second step. There are many ways to go about it.
You can approach a few people that you know who are already involved in it.
You can talk to a few close friends who have said about swinging earlier so do approach them.
And then there are these swinging clubs and private parties where people come and participate to have sex with other people.
You can join a swingers' club if you want to become a part of the large group. There are these online dating platforms, where you can find couples looking for other couples who want to swing! You can meet them for coffee and then proceed slowly so that none of you guys feel like strangers.
You can explore your local areas, where they are throwing a swinger's party. Be mindful of them as they don't announce such parties. They usually pick a regular club for such events. So, keep an eye on all the local events. Please get to know about them and then approach them.
5 Tips for First-Time Swingers
Know your boundaries.
If you are done talking to your partner and you have explored the Swingers clubs and parties, now it's time to talk about something profound.
If you are into your partner, then swinging can lead to jealousy.
So, both of you, as a couple, as well as, as individuals, need to talk about your boundaries.
Express what you are most comfortable with doing.
You can check out some of the first swinger events and see what other people do in such parties.
You might not want to have sex on the first day, but would rather sit on the sidelines and watch people go about it. Concentrate on how you feel. Do you feel comfortable to see partners swapping themselves and penetrating with someone else?
Or are you pleased with only a few blow jobs, boob sucking, and kissing? You can set your boundaries. It is not necessary to have sexual intercourse if you decide to swing your partner.
It would help if you explored all the possibilities and also talk to your partner about the limitations. You may not be comfortable seeing your partner being taken by someone else to a private room for a steamy sex routine.
That might make you uncomfortable. You will have to talk to your partner about your comfort zone.
What will you wear for the party?
All set? Now, let's talk about the fun part.
If you have found the right swinging club and party to attend, then it is time for you to think about what you are going to wear for the event.
The attire you are going to choose will strictly depend on where you go.
Swinging parties don't want to come in a complete formal or casual attire.
So, know about the dress code of the event that you are going to attend. Once you know, you can go shopping. You might want to check out some of the themed Swinging parties because themed parties are always fun. You can dress up as your favourite character.
Dressing up as someone else will give you a confidence boost that you want right at that moment. No matter what you decide to wear, ensure that you feel comfortable in that, and you look sexy. You should be able to walk the room, looking confident, and not stressed out.
Relax, check out everybody in the room and remember the people who are attending the swinging parties and clubs are as normal as you. Everyone has their complexities and fear. The people you are going to meet and might end up swinging with are real people.
They will also have stretch marks in their bodies, and some might even tell you that this is their first time.
For women, we will recommend not to wear corsets. Even though they make you look drop-dead gorgeous, you know that they are too tight, and they are a little challenging to remove. Ladies, you have a lot of dresses in your closet. Find out the one which makes you look incredibly sassy.
What to Wear to a Swingers Lifestyle Club
How to attend your first swinging event?
If you have kids at home, then don't forget to call a babysitter.
Let the babysitter take care of your kids while you get to go out with your partner for the first amazing swinging event.
Yet again, remind yourself and your partner about the boundaries that both of you have talked about.
When you reach the event, you might start feeling nervous.
Many swingers suggest that it is better not to drink a lot of alcohol for the first event as that might make you forget about the boundaries you and your partner have talked about.
Remaining clean will ensure that you know what you are doing, and you would be able to respect the people around you better.
However, there are a few swingers who don't approve of that, and they say that you should one hard glass of whatever you want to feel the kick and get a boost to approach someone that you would like to swing with.
Think about what works for you the best and go with your gut feeling.
For you, your first event could be grand and massive, but the people you are going to meet at the party might be experienced, and they might have no boundaries at all. So, be prepared to meet new swinger couples and pros.
Some swingers might not feel satisfied with only kissing and role-play, and they might expect something more from you. So, the best way to go about it is to ask them. Talk to them and express what you are expecting.
Know that everyone is there at the party for the same purpose. All of you are looking for swingers who would like to play with one another. So, keep your calm, try to be relaxed and have a good time!
What to Expect During Your First Time at a Swingers Party
Once you are back home.
After you are done with your swinging experience, you will be heading back home.
So, once you are home, it is time to discuss your experiences. Would you like to try a wild passion once again or call it a quit!
You may not be in your right sense of mind to discuss your experience the following night, so the best thing to do is talk to them the next morning.
Did you like it? What did you learn from this new experience and was there anything at all that made you feel uncomfortable?
The conversation between the two of you will let go of all the insecurities and also will allow you to talk about the exciting stuff.
And that's about it. Here goes your final step and your new experience with swinging clubs and parties. You can think of involving some like minded friends as well to make the experience even better.
Let us explain all the steps in 11 easy steps if you would like to get a more in-depth understanding.
I Went to a Swinger Party
Ensure that both of you and your partner are on the same page.
See, it is easy to understand. Both of you and your better half go to a cocktail party, which was a swinger's party.
One of you was fully aware of it, while the other half wasn't.
Imagine your wife enjoying a few shots of tequila and asking you to leave the party early because she is not feeling comfortable while you have something else on your mind.
You were thinking about more of getting oral sex from a swinger who wouldn't mind giving you one. Now, your partner suddenly comes to turn that you came there for not just a few shots of tequila, but to be a part of the swinger party.
My, my, what a scene it would turn out to be! Are you ready for your partner to become all agitated and pissed because you didn't tell her or him about your plan? Won't they feel betrayed? Imagine your better half doing that to you and you didn't have the slightest clue.
Not a good thing to happen to anyone, right. So, make sure that both of you are on the same page and you know that you are here for a reason. Have a chat! That's the clue.
Set some rules, it will save your relationship.
Once both of you understand that swinger’s party is in the scene, the next thing to do is to set some scary-specific rules.
Remember, the high school romance, where both of you made tons of promises and forgot to maintain. Well, the same kind of thing.
Talk to your partner to know what they have on their minds. What is too much for them and tell how far they are comfortable?
For example, someone kissing might be alright but when it comes to a hand job, they might not be okay with that!
Simultaneously, some may say that oral sex is fresh but not penetration. You will get to set your boundaries only when you discuss them. Rules are meant to be broken, but you have to talk about it openly. Unless you don't, your partner might consider that as cheating.
Ahem, that can even lead to creating havoc in your relationship.
Swingers’ party or clubs are the best options.
You may find swingers all over the internet.
You can join some online community forum, where you can chat with them and then decide to meet them for a cup of coffee to know each other.
And then meet them for a swinger's night. But our suggestion is to join a swingers' party or club.
You will get to reach more people who are looking for similar fun and activity and some of them can even be more professional and pros. They might have had previous swinging experience that will make you feel more comfortable.
So, plan to join a swingers' club instead. It is better to start with a club where many people will surround you. Plus, it is safer that way as well. Even high-end parties are better. Elite people are into swinging, believe it or not. So, grab the opportunity.
Be as social as possible.
Now, when it comes to the swingers' club, you will have to be social.
You can't go there expecting someone to come towards you asking you to have sex them with.
Well, not that, that it can't happen, but let go of insecurities and move on. You can't be cliquish.
Here at a swingers' club, you will meet people who are there with an agenda.
Swingers will feel more comfortable with their friends and you will see that they are mostly in a group; however, there is no harm in saying hello. You will be surprised to see how many people reciprocate.
Get a grip, be confident and let your charm work. Don't hesitate. It's okay if it is your first time.
Try to reach the party early.
Imagine arriving at the party sober while everyone else already had a dozen vodka shots or entering the venue when all the people are done finding their swinger partner and they are done having sex.
Mortifying feeling, right! So, what is the solution to avoid such an unwanted situation is arriving at the party a bit early?
Get the hang of it and enjoy the environment.
Have a chat with the bartender, ask about the party, get to know the people who will join you soon and understand your surroundings.
If you want, you can even ask the club's executive to give you a tour of the premises as well. They won't mind showing you around. This way, you and your partner will have a good idea of whether the venue is safe for you or not.
Try not to drink too much.
Here's the thing, if you are new, then be mindful of the number of beers you have. You don't want to look miserable, do you?
You have been fantasizing the whole week of having an awesome threesome and then finally, when your dream is about to come true, you fall asleep.
How would that make you feel?
Leave your part; do you think you are going to have a good reputation before the two ladies who you impressed with your sweet talks?
Of course, you would like to have a drink or two, but don't overdo the alcohol. Get the kick and be in the right mindset if you want to remember what happened last night. Plus, no one wants to have sex with a drunkard!
Realistic expectations are a must!
Even if you have spoken to your partner about your expectations and both of you know about your boundaries, what you might not know is that not everyone that you see in the party will be willing to give you an orgy.
And also, the party will start quite late. You can expect the party to begin in the late evening.
You might have to wait for a swinger to come around and have a final discussion, but until then, there is not much that you can do.
You will have to wait and be patient.
Don't get bored even if no one shows up. Just give the party some time and don't leave because you didn't find anyone by midnight.
Realistic expectations are a must. Be mindful that there can be a few couples who would love to swing, and then there will be a few who will give you a weird look.
It is better if the woman leads the way.
You know what; the best way to enjoy a swinger party is to allow the woman to lead the way.
If you are with a woman who is also participating in the act, then nothing can be better than that.
Don't push her to do anything that she won't enjoy. Let her take small steps. Don't pressurize her for anything at all.
And the best thing is to let her decide what you get to do in action. If that happens, then you will be in a far better position.
In the swinging world, it is eventually the ladies who take the lead and also give you the green light. Having patience is the key and allowing her to decide what should be done will make both of you feel comfortable.
Watch what other people do and then decide.
If this is your first time in the swinging environment, then we suggest that you attend such a party and watch everyone around you.
You have to understand what happens in the swinging world.
Please take a look at the people around you, how do they approach people. Please see how swinging happens, then ask someone for sex.
See if you are the right fit for swinging activity, or it's not your cup of tea. Checking out other people will help you make a better decision for yourself and your partner.
Talk to your partner every time you think of swinging.
Just like you go for an office meeting, where the boss discusses the plan for a project, how to go about it, what are the expectations and more, you need to address each of the swinging days with your partner.
Have an honest conversation with your partner and review the rules your partner would want you to follow.
Also, both of you can talk about the different things you would like to try or won't like to try.
Just like everything else, swinging works when you talk to your partner. Also, don't forget to talk to your partner about what happened during swinging.
How to behave in a swinging club?
Don’t get scared by the swinging clubs. They maybe usual clubs, but the people you are going to meet here are mostly for a legit reason, and that is to find swinging partners.
If you are looking for a swinging partner here at a swinging club, rest assured, many other couples will be here for the same purpose as well.Now, because swinging clubs have a different meaning to solve, you might wonder, if there are a few things you need to think about.
So, we have gathered some pointers for you, which will help you to get prepared for the club. Follow these rules, and you are all set for the fun. You might know that there is a complete guide to swingers' etiquettes.
There are a few more things that you need to know before you take the first move. Don't worry, we have got your back and this guide will help you understand what these etiquettes are. Just follow the guide and know what those things are so that you don't turn away anyone.
How to Behave at a Swingers Party
No one likes to sleep with someone who smells bad. Not even your partner, so when you sleep with someone new that is known that they would expect you to be clean. The fact is that many people don't care about how they look and smell and they go out searching for nothing else but sex.
The first thing that you need to do is to shower properly and pay attention to your significant bits. Smell as lovely as possible to let the other person know that you care about their feelings too. Simultaneously, the person you have decided to swing with should also take care of their hygiene.
Don't be dependent, bring your things
Even though most of the swinger clubs do have condoms and they keep it discreetly, it is always advisable to bring in your stuff along with you. You should be perfectly fine even if you miss to bring a condom, as the clubwill have them, but you never know.
So, bring it along if you find the perfect swing match for the night. Also, no women on earth would like to sleep with someone and get pregnant.
Also, if you are meeting someone through online dating sites and if both of you have planned to use sex toys, then don't think that the club is going to offer those kinds of things. No club will have a vibrator or dildo to play with.
However, if you are meeting someone then and there, then don't get too excited and start talking about sex toys. Take things slow and proceed. Toys do make the intimacy scene a bit more exciting, but you should always get the other party's approval before using them.
Don't expect a lot!
If you are under the believe that every swinger's club will introduce you to high-end people who are willing to participate in group sex, then be warned. Most of these parties don't go by the name swingers' party. These parties are rather discreet.
Some people will be interested in your wife and not you and then others might only be expecting some role play and nothing more than that. So, if you think that you will get hardcore sex partners, then you might have to uplift your disappointment, switch a bit.
The less you expect, the better opportunity you may come across. Sometimes when you plan the least, you might end up with a threesome, and other times when you are confident of a group sex scenario, you might get nothing in return.
These things happen. Be prepared and don't expect a lot. That's all we can advise.
Let the woman lead the offer
If you know that your woman, who is also interested in swinging looks better, let her make the offer. Approaching a couple as a single man may not bring in a lot of luck, but when a single woman approaches, you might not believe the number of couples and singles will show their interest.
That's the ugly truth, and that's how the world runs. It is better to allow the better-looking partner to move forward and break the deal for both of you. Even if someone denies the offer, the gentleman on the other end will never be too harsh or too upfront with her.
Better ask your wife or your girlfriend to make a move. Try it if this is your first time. The results will astound you.
No cellphones, please
No swingers enjoy the thought of being photographed by someone they have just met.
It is better to keep your mobile phone aside and be there and enjoy the moment. Most of the swingers will share a common thought that swinger activities are too personal for them, and they wouldn't want the whole world to know that they are into this. They would like to do it privately.
You will not be welcomed in the club if you are hanging around with a high-quality camera phone and asking the person you will swing with to click their photos. It's a big NO-NO! Please respect their decision and privacy.
DON'T STAY BACK. IF YOU ARE DONE, THEN LEAVE
The purpose of swinging is to have anonymous sex without any strings getting attached.
Once you are done with the swinging sex, wear your trousers or dress and move on. Leave! Don't try to bond a relationship with them.
That's not how the concept of swinging party works.
If you start bonding, then there is a massive chance that this will lead to contempt and meeting secretly. Also, isn't the thought kind of awkward?
Think about it once, you had sex with someone else's partner, and now you are deciding to meet him or her more often and start having sex with them only.
That's not swinging guys! And many people don't like to be with hangers! Don't converse with the swinger a lot.
Don't get into a deep conversation before or after. Enjoy the moment and leave. That should be the motto.
Don't touch anyone without their consent
Though swingers' parties are loaded with people who are open to trying new people, but that doesn't mean they are open for anything and give an open invitation to get touched by anyone they don't know.
If a woman tells you no, as an answer, then respect that.
Never force anyone because that's rude. People who are here for a swinger party are human beings too.
Although most of them will be generous, if you get a clear signal of not interested, then move on. Plus, it never looks good to touch someone and give them the message that you are feeling horny the moment you see them. Talk, know and then proceed. That should be the way.
We hope the guide to swinger clubs and parties have to open your thoughts about it. Most of the people who have never been to a swinger party nor have interest in swinging think that people who go for swinging are only looking for sex.
Partly it is true, but in swinging clubs and parties, there will be people who belong to well-off families and upper-class society. These people are quite selective, and they don't just yes to anyone they see, meet, and talk to. If you are interested in swinging, then involve your better half too.
Be open to them about your thoughts and feelings, and be as honest with them about your expectations. The more you guys will talk to one another, the better the result you will see. And you may never know, your partner might have been thinking about swinging already.
It is only when you will talk to each other and communicate; you will get to know what's cooking in their mind.
Make sure that once the swinging affair is over, both of you sit down and talk to each other about your experiences. And if you would like to try it again, then share that part as well. A swinging date will be possible only when both the parties have fair expectations from one another.
Go through this guide again and again if you missed out on a few essential things.