Complete Guide to Spice Up Your Sex Life (2020)

Yes, it's time to lay down the real truth; though we would prefer not admitting it, sex routine is something we all face every now and then.

At times, being with your partner for a long time makes you lose the excitement that you had when you were younger, less busy and less tired.

Our mind is constantly loaded with office meetings, the preparation for the meetings, the pending laundry work, the bills which have to be cleared or the pending dishes which have piled up.

It could also be that you are single and are just venturing into the dating world and sex. 

slow sex

Our daily lives are loaded with a lot of things and activities that make us wear out and feel exhausted. When a person is lethargic, getting oneself motivated to get back into romance, get back the excitement and make things better in the bedroom is quite tough.

No matter what the reason is, the reality is that we all fall into some kind of sex rut. In order to get the spark back, simple things like romantic baths or candlelight dinners do not work. There are few steamy tips that are going to be shared with you in order to help you get your sex life spiced up.

So make sure you follow the tips mentioned, which will make your romantic life worth every bit of it.

1. Date Night

second date

Yes, we are talking about the simple date night that we all are aware of. However, there is a twist. You must fix up a date night with your partner and begin the date with sex.! Yes! You should not wait to have sex till the end of your date night.

Once you begin the date with sex, the mood will be uplifted for the rest of your evening. Sex will also help you both build up an appetite and have a great dinner. It will release those feel-good chemicals that help you bond with your partner and give you the feeling of closeness.

In case you wait for sex post the date, you will only get yourself full of food, feel tired and  reduction in sexual need.

2. Share and talk about your desires

talking in bed

With time, the passion falls apart and in case you want to work it out and keep the hotness quotient alive, you need to take charge of the situation and have an open talk with your partner. If you are bored, even your partner  would not feel excited.

The best way to work it out is to do it as a team. Be open to new things and discuss various methods of spicing it up in the bedroom with your partner. This will definitely make your life more  thrilling.

3. Erotic games

love games

Sexual boredom is one of the very common complaints in the couple. The regular sexual routine can be quite boring, stressful and appear to be like work. Freshness in sex and variety in sexual positions is important to motivate a person for sex.

It can also increase one's desire to be as creative as possible. For adults, sex is a method of playing and enjoying pleasure mutually.

Games could consist of building up a sex fort, which is a place other than your bed to have sex and you can add your favorite sex toys, pillows, blankets, and lube. Games could include a striptease, sensory play using toys and objects, or the erotic version of truth or dare.

4. Spontaneous Sexting


Yes, this is a new concept in the era of technology and smartphones. Rather than asking your partner for a supper, you spice it up by hinting about your sexual intention once you get home. Being specific is the key and one must not shy from it.

You can recall your past hot experiences, tell your partner the outfit that you will wear or you can also send across a picture of you wearing it.

This kind of unexpected sexy message sent to your partner will build up the much-needed excitement all through the day, and once they are home, you both will have a great time in bed.

5. New Positions in Sex

Surprise Dickspection

This is one of the easiest and is also amongst the effective ways of ensuring that your sexual life is interesting. You can check out the book Bad Girls Bible which has a lot of pictures along with detailed explanations related to 100 sex positions.

In case your man is laid-back and not interested in trying out new positions in sex, it is time for you to take charge. You need to take the lead when you are in bed and though you could be nervous, your man will definitely enjoy every bit of it.

You can try out some easy positions which do not need a lot of flexibility and where the transition is easy. You can also check the 8 sultry sexual positions we have prepared to spice up your sexual routine.

6. Role-play

sissy play

Role-play, yes we are talking of role-playing. You must be aware of role-playing in your bedroom, confined to the walls of your house. However, it can be taken even outside your house. You can plan up a date and pretend to be complete strangers for the night.

You can dress up and arrange even a “one-night stand.” During this, you must act like strangers throughout the night., You can hhave different names, different backstories, and you guys should act like you have just met each other.

When it is time, head home together. In case this works well for both of you, you can keep doing it and continue to do it through your life.

7. Dress Up and Undress each other slowly

swapsmut porn 1-min

It feels great to dress up and look good even then it would end up being messy and naked much later. However, you can wear something good that makes you feel great and sexy about yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you are going to get naked later on.

Take some time to undress each other and begin with just a piece of clothing. Once you get rid of one piece of clothing, feel every single inch of the skin of your partner. The experience has to be slow and sensuous, as you will have enough time to get aroused by it.

8. Fantasies

twink in bunny

Every single person has sexual fantasies. The issue with most of the people is that they assume these fantasies are a bit weird and might not be appreciated by their partner. Many do not tell their partner about their different fantasies either because of fear or potential embarrassment.

Also, they could assume that their partner might find them to be weird. However, what you do not realize is that your man could be thinking exactly the same thing. There can be a few fantasies that can turn you on, but there has not been an opportunity for you to experience it in real life.

Be open to your man and talk about your fantasies as well as his. This will definitely take your sex life to another level.

9. Explore the Dominant and submissive side

femdom shoe worship

A lot of relationships turn to be such that one partner is a bit more dominant when it comes to sex whereas the other partner could be a bit more submissive. It indicates that one person is open to trying out something new, trying new positions, or making use of accessories and toys.

So the best way to spice it up is to change roles the next time you have sex. For instance, if your man is the one who always wants to switch positions, try to beat him at it and be the one to make the change. Or you can be the one initiating sex instead of him.

Or you can also be the one to start the foreplay and hold on till he does. These could make you a bit uneasy, however, it will surprise your man.

You can also be in a dominant position by way of dirty talking as it builds up the sexual tension, gets him turned on and ensures he is attracted to you.

10. Pinch your man's ass

impact play spank

Well, this could sound really ridiculous, however, it works quite well. So when you bid goodbye to your partner, while you lean in and give him a kiss, you can grab his ass quickly and give it a pinch or a smack.

Be sure that this is quick, however, don't speak about it, don't explain in case he asks why it was done. All you need to do is smile at it. It might get confusing for your man, however, it is a sign that you can be naughty as hell. Note that you do not use this trick every day or every single week.

Use it once in a month to ensure things are flirty and fun.

11. Special Deliveries


Now, this is exciting and can really build up the tension in your man's body all through the day. When you dress up, make sure your man notices you wearing that seductive lingerie. As the day passes, surprise him by sending him your lingerie at his office, in an envelope.

12. Sex toys

shopping sex toys

The best part is the variety of sex toys that are available. It is great if you want your sex life to spice up. There is a toy for anything and everything. There are toys for your clitoris and for his penis as well. Sex toys can be used during foreplay and will ensure you get hot before the act.

It can be used during sex as well and can be used instead of sex too. However, do not depend completely on sex toys, as it can get boring sometimes.

13. Schedule sex

scheduled sex

These days we all have busy work schedules. When you need to prioritize sex it means this has to be added to the calendar. Though it appears to be quite lame and not so sexy, when you are aware that there is a specific time allotted for sex, the build-up will be present all through the day.

This is the chance where you can be creative and plan up the act, choose different outfits, rooms, positions, toys, etc. This works well even if the couple has had a baby and though there could be an interruption, it enables them to be connected sexually and develops the bond.

14. sexual Hunt

roses to bed

You can begin with a picture of yourself in some sexy lingerie. Post this, you can leave pieces of your clothing or maybe even sexy items like a pair of handcuffs or a whip which can be used later on. In addition to this leave behind a clue indicating where the next item is.

The end of the hunt will definitely be eventful.

15. sexual bucket list

sex bucket list

In case you are in a committed and long-term relationship, there are high chances that you would have indicated a few of your fantasies. So make it a reality now. Challenge yourself and your man to write down at least 5 things which each of you wishes to try out during sex.

Once this is done, swap your lists, check out what is common and select things that you both are ready to try.

16. Kink up your routine

femdom tease

Adding some kink into your regular sexual routine will work wonders. Talk about different types of sexual positions, bondage, new toys, new role-plays, etc., which can be included in your relationship. Also, head to the store and get yourself some new toys to try out.

17. Shower together

bathroom sex

This is one of the most simple yet quite effective tips you can find. When your man heads to the shower the next time, take a minute off and then follow him. You can then try out any of the following:

  • You could give him a wash, and this is really sexy.!
  • You could surprise him with a blowjob. a tip would be to place a towel beneath your knees in case you do this, else you could end up with sore knees.
  • You can also have sex. However, remember that water and shampoo could dry out the natural lubrication quite quickly.

18. Switch the birth control

birth control devices

Before you try out this option, consult with your OB/GYN. If it works for you, it will do wonders.

19.  Watching Porn Together

couple watch porn

Iif you dislike pornography, then this tip can be avoided completely.

Though it is assumed that only men prefer porn and women really hate it; this is not the complete truth. The best way to describe this is that  ‘conventional’ pornography is not preferred by women, where women are degraded, and are treated like dirt by the men.

You will understand that female-focused pornography is completely different.

20. Generate the Anticipation

the om

The main reasons why sex can get boring and dull is due to the fact that there is no anticipation, no build-up, and absolutely no tension in it.

It has become like any other routine for couples which is done either every evening or in the morning. In order to break this monotonous routine, you must build up the anticipation, by trying out something which he does not expect.

In case you are vacationing with friends, let him know by way of a message as to how you miss him and how horny you get. Also, let him know about the things you plan to do when you get back and give this information in detail. This can be done even when you are at work.

Also, note that this practice has to be done occasionally else this can be boring too if done repeatedly.

21. Directions

thinking during sex

When you want to satisfy your man completely, you can always ask for directions, irrespective of whether you are having sex or giving him a handjob or a blowjob. This, however, must not be direct.

Avoid statements like: "Is it alright?” or " I am not sure of what this is, but hope you like this"

The better option is to give him choices or use suggestive statements. For instance, "Are you a blowjob kind of guy or a handjob guy?", or "I bet you love your balls being played with" or "I bet you love the doggy style sex", etc.

Few people might find this to be quite easy, whereas it could be tricky for some. However, once you do this, you will be aware of f what your man loves and enjoys, and yes, he would definitely return the favor.

22. Dirty talking

dirty talk

Now, this is quite a powerful move. A lot of women love to use this, as it keeps the man turned on at all times and keeps him hooked on to you even when you are not around him.

You can find a lot of information about this on the internet which will help you out.

23.  SEX REPERTOIRE - Add more moves

ice cube

In case you are with the same guy for years, which is quite a long time, you will notice that sex has become just a routine. Though a few couples enjoy the routine, there is a possibility that the same 3 or 4 moves can be boring.

In case you feel this way, there are chances that even your man feels the same about your 3 or 4 moves. Check out the various things you can execute in the bedroom as well as outside to ensure you both are satisfied.

24. Master the Killer Blowjob

Master the Killer Blowjob

There is no man who doesn't love a good blowjob. Check out the best ways of giving a blowjob and give your man a satisfying experience of blowjob.

25. Avoid the bedroom routine

underwater sex positions

The ultimate killer of a relationship is a standard routine. It does not just kill your sex life, it also ruins the relationship. Boredom and routines can mess up your relationship and your sex life.  And this could lead to cheating and drifting away from each other.

26. Mutual masturbation

mutual masturbation

The secret weapon in sex is mutual masturbation. It is hot to watch your man do so and even make him feel the same.

Positions Which Will Spice Up the Sex Life

It is essential to build up the anticipation in order to spice up your sex life. You must create the anticipation and your spouse must be on your mind throughout the day. It will surprise and amaze you that sex can be so amazing.

Though you have your priorities every single day and you also offer emotional support whenever needed, you must show your mate that you need them throughout the day. You can build up the interest by leaving some sexy notes or playing some fun games.

There are 8 sultry sexual positions which will help spice your sexual routine:

1. Carnal Craving

This sultry position will help you quench your thirst for all the lusty desires you have.

What is needed in this is a good upper body strength as well as low inhibitions.

You start off by facing your partner and grabbing her waist from under her butt while you lift your spouse towards you.

Allow her to wrap her legs around the waist and arms behind your neck to get additional support while you start moving at a rhythmic pace.

standing sex

2. The Wheelbarrow

Make your partner be in a doggy position. While she kneels right in front of you, you can enter her from behind.

Once you are inside, make her hold onto your ankles while you slowly lift her to stand, and support her on your lap which is slightly bent.

For a twist, you can also add the Durex Play O lube, however, make sure you squeeze the pelvic muscles right in time along with their thrusts to have a night full of passion.


3.  The Devilish Doggy

This is a classic position. You must make her be on all fours when you enter her from the behind.

The rear entry generates the right amount of friction needed for both of you.

It is perfect for people who want a deeper as well as pleasurable sensation.

doggy hair pull

4. The Hot Half Headstand

If you are on the lookout for the best g-spot stimulation, this is the ideal position.

It gives her control, whereas you will be relaxing and enjoying the stimulation. The position can be a bit tricky however it is pretty good and kinky.

You can enter her from the behind and fold forward to touch the floor. Make her hold onto your ankles when she starts raising her legs to your sides.

In case you are unable to hold on to this position for long, go back into the missionary position and also add the rabbit vibrator to get the best sensual experience.

anal sex missionary

5. Edge of Love

This is a revamped version of the standard cowgirl.

You have to lay on your back over the bed edge while she will be straddling over you and stretch her hands to your feet.

While you enjoy the view, you can also add some sex toys to this lovemaking and have a memorable night.

anal sex cowgirl

6. Snow Angel

If you want a smooth transition to get out of the comfort zone, the snow angel position is the best one for you.

You will be above her and draw her thighs right into your chest as well as place her legs right over her shoulders.

This will allow you to get her pelvis right off the mattress. You will have leverage and get support by using her thighs.

When her hips tilt, you can penetrate her deeper, and this will allow your partner to get explicit access to your very own g-spot.

anal sex missionary

7. The Frog

In this position, you have to sit on the bed edge, your feet have to be firm on the ground.

Make her squirt over you right on the bed edge and her back facing you similar to a small frog.

Grab her waist, help her move upwards and downwards, allowing her to brace on your highs while you penetrate her.

She can support her movements when you keep your hands right under her butt, thereby offering her an additional lift.

anal sex cowgirl

8. Double Decker

You have to lie down on the couch while she sits on top of you and faces away. Lean back till you prop up on the elbows.

Your back will be on her chest. Make her lean back, ensure her knees are bent to her chest while you penetrate her.

This way, she will enjoy the hug and the climax. Use  Durex Night In and tease your partner throughout the night.

anal sex spooning

More Tips & Tricks to Spice Up Your Sex Life

1. Add a tanginess of humour 

Add A Tanginess Of Humour

If sex is spicy then you need to spray a little tangy flavour of humour into it. Sex is not just about intense and passionate lovemaking but the right chemistry between the partners can also evoke moments of laughter into it. 

Therefore, you can just tease each other, call funny names, or fight with a pillow to lighten your mood. You both will laugh out hard and this emotion will ultimately culminate into a hard and passionate session of intercourse. 

Having lighter moments while making love can reduce your stress and calm your insecurities as well. 

2. Don’t always think of orgasm 

Don’t Always Think Of Orgasm

As clever people have said, you must enjoy the process rather than worrying about results. This golden rule also applies to sex as you should not be thinking about what if you or your partner does not cum.

Orgasm is definitely important but worrying about it won’t make it better. Therefore, you must relax, breathe, and have a great time with your partner. 

Enjoying the little moments that actually define your relationship and sex life would take you towards a much better session of sex. 

3. Stay away from assumptions 

Stay Away From Assumptions

The problem between most of the couples is that they either take their partner for granted or they end up assuming too many unreal things about them. 

For example, a friend of mine used to catch her wife’s pony while fucking her in a doggy style position. He had seen it in porn movies and thought that it adds to the pleasure.

However, little did he know that it instigated her and one day when she had enough of this unnecessary pain she asked him to stop and slapped the shit out of him. 

Don’t laugh too soon because this can happen with you as well if you start assuming things. Every person is different and their tastes and sexual preferences can vary.

Therefore, communicate freely with your partner and ask him/her about his/her preferences so that you don’t mess up like my poor friend. 

4. Be innovative

Be Innovative

Being innovative in the methods and ways of making sex with your partner will add the element of unpredictability in your sex life. If you are spontaneous in your ways of making love then your partner will feel an adrenaline rush whenever you approach him/her. 

For example, you can take your partner to the backseat of your car and seduce the hell out of him/her. This can follow up with a steamy session of uninterrupted love in the car itself. 

5. Don’t shy away from the age old missionary position

Don’t Shy Away From The Age Old Missionary Position

Many people think that the missionary position is outdated but it is simply the most satisfying and popular position that you can ever try. 

Therefore, experimenting with some innovative wacky postures and revisiting the old missionary position every once in a while can provide you unlimited joy spurts down there! 

6. Refer books for new ideas

Refer Books For New Ideas

You will eventually run out of ideas of adding spice to your sex life irrespective of whether you are a creative person or not. Therefore, it is always a good idea to have some books that are jammed with fresh makeout and intercourse plans. 


If you intend to have some good sex as well as spice up your relationship and sex life, you need to work for it. The assumption that we have about sex, that it is natural and does not need any effort, is totally false.

If your sexual life is dull and boring, it could hamper your relationship and lead to cheating and other issues. So try out the various options mentioned, build up the anticipation and reap the benefits!

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