A Complete Guide on How to Sext (2020)

The idea of sexting is relatively new in the dating world.

Sex texting is what makes sexting so interesting among couples, especially those who are in a long-distance relationship. 

Everyone has some physical needs, and the same goes for these lonely couples too.

Meeting someone and having an intimate relationship has perks of its own, but that's not always possible.

What will you do if your lover is hundreds of miles away and you are actually craving some sexual desires? 

best sexting apps

Well, why not try out sexting with smartphones by your side! Simple text messages with some intimate details can lead to ultimate orgasm, which you haven't felt before! Sexting is like a drug. Once you start it, there's no stopping!

You will get addicted to it shortly and might end up sexting your partners every night. There are new stories you can make, which will add a bit of zing to your otherwise dull relationship. So, what if you are staying apart from one another? You have the best sexting options here.

Multiple examples, as grabbed from the internet, will show you some ideas on how you can spice up your sex life, even when there's no physical contact.

The Jot of Sexting

A perfect foreplay

According to experts, sexting is a perfect foreplay. Known explicitly as a flirty and fun way to stay connected with your partner, sexting helps in fueling up the sex cells in your brain for the entire day.

It is one way to add adventure in your life, which will help to recreate loving feelings right early in relationships. For beginners, experts are more than happy to share some of their thoughts and examples on how to sext in the best possible manner.

Whether you are in a new relationship or have been in one for some time, sending dirty and flirty messages will be a perfect way to spice things up quite a bit. It will ignite that feeling for one another and keep it alive for a long time.

For those who don't know how to start a sexting session, it can be a bit difficult to overcome the present or initial awkwardness. Some of the significant sex therapists are here to share some of their proven tips on how you can bite the bullet and get started.

Some might think that they are not creative enough or don't know how to start a sexting conversation. Well, it is not always essential for you to dive right into the dirty kinky things. Sometimes, sexting can make people a bit uneasy, but that doesn't always have to be a daunting experience.

It can prove to be a bit silly and playful sometimes. Just find one specific language that you and your partner feel comfortable with, and you are off to a great start. In case you aren't that comfortable with just being way too explicit right from the start, you can just take things a bit slow.

Check out some examples, and you are off to a great start!

Crucial Points to know before sexting

So, after much thought and courage, you have finally thought of giving sexting a try. Well, congratulations!

However, being your first time, you maybe nervous and don't know if things are going down well. There are some significant points for you to consider, before you start this medium called sexting.

So, without wasting any crucial time, be well-accustomed with these points first before you can hit it off with sexting.

1. Try taking things up a bit slow

Sexting takes time, and it is all about the buildup.

You should learn the art of starting a conversation with an indication that you want to be playful, without revealing your thoughts way too much.

Otherwise, you might sound needy, which is enough to put off your partner.

For example, try sending a picture of your sexy cleavage with a simple message like "Want this?" is enough to make him drool.

It is one way to make your intentions pretty clear of what you have in mind, and the person, on the other hand, will surely join you in no time!

According to experts, when the matter revolves around sex, it is always better to go five times slower than what you think.

There's no need to just jump straight into sex without an initial warm-up. Be sure to treat sexting in the same possible manner!

A gradual buildup will warm up your body and mind, just like your partner's.

slow sext

2. Timing is god here

Before you plan to get intimate with your partner over phone, you should be aware of what your partner is doing.

If he is with his family enjoying a delightful brunch, or having a rough day at work, then it is probably not the best time to send him some steamy texts.

Well, we know that it isn't always easier for you to know what your partner is doing.

During such instances, sending a simple text saying "Hey, you free?" or "What are you doing?" might solve the case.

This text is one way to know if this is the right time to sexting.

If he gives out a positive reply, then you are good to proceed forward with your ideas.


3. Avoid being way too far away from your comfort zone

When it comes to sexting, always try to be within your comfort zone.

If not, then you are not likely to satisfy your partner. It is still up to you.

If you want, you can turn sexting into something as innocent as possible, where you message that you "Can't wait to make love to you!" or just try to send some nude pictures.

You can hit it off with something that makes you a bit uncomfortable but not much.

It may be a bit out of your comfort zone but shouldn't be precisely the opposite of you.

be yourself 2

4. Your phone's library Should be Loaded with Ready Sexy Pics

Always try to keep a set of steamy selfies in a private folder insider your phone.

It helps in delivering images when the time comes and when you are not in a position to take selfies.

You always want the responses to be lively and quick.

For such sexy and secret photos, there's an app called "Private Photo Vault," which helps to secure such pictures with a PIN lock.

sexy pics

5. Time to learn about "emoji sex code"

Some emojis are known to serve the purposes of sexual innuendos. It helps setting intentions without saying a single word.

Well, banana and eggplant emojis are often used to mention penis. Peach, on the other hand, denotes juicy booty.

Sending an emoji of pussy cat means vagina and the face with tongue sticking out means pleasure or desire.

Then you have raindrops, which actually indicate ejaculation or wetness. So, try to learn these sex codes through emojis, which helps in maintaining that proper code of conduct, while sexting in public.


6. Always Remember the role you are playing

If you are initiating sexting, always remember that you are playing a role and are in total control.

You are actually portraying a role of a horny partner, who is looking to get her thirst satisfied of intimate relationships.

Sometimes, you might have to get a bit freaky but in a positive way.

The words you type, the photos or voice messages you send are what you need to paint a fantasy picture for your partner and help him get aroused to a point where he just can't get enough of you!

in character

7. Try adding some efforts into visuals

While taking nude selfies or recording some videos while sexting, angles play a pivotal role.

You might not pay attention to it much, but you cannot deny its importance as well.

Visuals will prove to be the bread and butter of sexting and can easily make or break the mood, you are likely to create. 


Always try to take pictures from angles which will just reveal the erogenous portions of your body.

Some such examples are bust, neck, abdomen, booty, thighs, pelvic areas and feet. It is always up to you on how provocative you might get with it. Trying to click pictures from such an angle while focusing on your bust can be one good example.

Try taking pictures of your juicy booty from bottom up, and that makes it seems, the booty is right up in his face.

8. A heads-up is a must

Well, most of the time, sexting revolves around sending steamy nude selfies. So, a heads-up to your partner is a must.

Opening your nude photo in front of his colleagues is the last thing you would want. 

So, what you can do is start with NSFW or not safe for work message before sexting a picture. After that, hit the return for few times.

It will give your partner a heads-up on what's about to come to his phone. Then you can input the picture.

This method will ensure that the photo does not quite pop up on his lock screen.

So, if he is at work, he will care to check the picture later, alone and within his comfort zone.

Be prepared to get caught up in the steamiest virtual lovemaking of all time.

starting sext

9. Avoid being too technical

Using slang and euphemisms in place of body parts will sound a bit sexier when the reader is going through the texts.

You might feel a bit weird while typing the term "cock" at that point, but it will sound great in your partner's head when he is reading and going through the text.

So, try to prepare for the vocabulary right in advance. It will definitely help you to be way more fluid while delivering sexting.


10. Adding Up with GIFs and Memes

Well, there's no need to underestimate the power of GIF or a sexy meme, which can be in perfect alignment with your current mindset about sex.

You can always try to use GIFs and memes for supplementing what you have just mentioned.

It helps in adding up some more content right into the conversation and providing you with a break from trying to be original.

In the end, it is all about having fun, and nothing can prove to be better than sexting.

The way you are approaching your partner says a lot about your sexual desires.

Just check in with the preparation time, and you are off to a great start!


Learn your limits while sexting

Well, even though sexting can be addictive, but there are some limitations you need to bother about.

If you fail to do so, the entire idea of sexting will turn against you, and you won't be able to enjoy it thoroughly. So, waste no time further and learn your limits so that you can implement the same when the time feels right.

Lauren's Sexting Etiquette

If you have never had Sex, then stop sexting

Trying to put the digital simulacrum just before the real deal is pretty tricky. You have no clue what your partner might like. Sometimes, they won't even like sexting if you haven't done it with them in real life. It is tough to turn on someone in a vacuum. So, the easy option here is to wait.

Before you end up sexting with one another, try our out sex in real life first. Learn his likes and dislikes so that you can use it next time while sending him sexy and steamy texts over the phone.

Avoid sending a sext to someone you don't know

You will look like a psycho if you send a sext to someone you haven't known well. Are you planning to sex test that girl you met just last night for the first time? Never tell that casual acquaintance that you want to slide inside their pants!

Even if you feel like, there's no need to say that out loud through sexting. That will make you sound creepy, and that meeting that happened the previous night will turn out to be the last. She won't even speak to you properly as your sexting will terrify her, to say the least!

Don't use emoji or certain words

Even though eggplant, banana, peach or raindrop emojis are widely used while sexting, but those are so 2015-ish. Right now, if you start sexting with emojis, it will make you look like such a noob. It might even put off your partner and then you would have to satisfy yourself by watching porn all night!

On the other hand, there are some words, which you might absolutely dread while sexting. So, let's not use those while you are sending sex texts. Let's take the word "penetrate" or "intercourse" for example. You are sexting for stimulating an orgasm, and not writing a medical paper!

Don’t sext if only one of you is drunk

It seems to be the ultimate idea just to fire off something desperate and creepy when you are completely wasted. But, the recipient, on the other hand, is sober and might not take it well. In your drunken mind, you are up and ready for sexting, but the other person might not.

But, if both of you are sauced, then go for it! The weirder you both get, the steamier the night becomes.

Try to get flirty but gradually

You might not believe this at first, but simple sexting can always lead to an actual intimate relationship with your partner. So, there's no need to put it out there. Just remember to not do it without any warning signs like dumping buckets of sparklers or condoms!

Try out one steady innuendo drip, which can easily lead up to raunchiness. You have every right to talk about your penis and how you want to use it to satisfy your partner!

Try using emoticons sparingly

In a context covering imaginative blowjob, a smiley emoticon like ":-D" seems pretty weird! But, no matter what, that old emoticon ";-)" still packs a punch, just like in 2012! All you need to understand is the limit and do not overdo it.

If you end up sending these emoticons more than what's expected, the recipient, on the other hand, might not take you seriously.

There's no need to use Siri

If you think Siri is actually going to help you sexting, you are wrong. It really does not work, and you will feel nothing but bad about it. On the other hand, try using some real words like a grown-up. Using way too many abbreviations won't work and will not be able to provide the right feel you want.

Sure enough, space is tight, but it's always better for you to split up a message into parts rather than putting them together like lobotomy middle school patient!

Benefits and Drawbacks of Sexting

Just like many others, you also want your luck in sexting. But, before you delve into the world of fantasy, there are some pros and cons to it that you should address. For some people, sexting is hot, and for others, it is nothing but inappropriate.

No matter whatever your choice might be, be sure to get to the positive and negative sides of sexting first.

  • In case you are involved in some sort of long-distance relationships, sexting is one way to feel closer to one another. Just because the person you love is far away from you, that does not mean you can't have some intimate time with one another. If you both have time and want to enjoy some intimate sexual moments, going for sexting seems to be the most appropriate choice to make. Thanks to smartphones and video chats, sexting has taken a new leap these days.
  • Thanks to sexting, you can either get off, or can help someone to feel the orgasmic pleasure or even both. There's hardly any rocket science behind it. The entire idea is just like having sex, but virtually and without touching anyone. It is what you call "mutual masturbation." It's fun and straightforward, and pretty addictive if you ask sex therapists!
  • If you are dating a person for the first time, then sexting can help you test the water first before jumping right in. Get to learn more about your partner and how you can satisfy her on the bed. The same goes for her, too. It might make you feel a bit dirty but in a good way. It can also prove to be a situation where both of you can learn and grow together. So, finally, when the time comes to enjoy sex with one another, you are well-aware of how to make the night steamy and meaningful.
  • If you find it challenging to open up about your sexual desires, face to face, taking the help of the internet world and text messaging can be a great alternative. Hiding behind your smartphone and bluntly telling your partner what you want to do to her is a great way to clear out your thoughts. Some things, you might find out to be pretty hard to say with your mouth, but when it comes to texting, it seems simple and easy.
  • For some people, sexually explicit videos, audio or text messages can prove to be sexual harassment. You don't want to be in such a relationship, do you? So, before you start anything, try to get consent from the other person and use it as proof, in case you need it later.
  • Then you have some people who use this medium of sexting to cheat or as a medium of artificial intimacy. In case you are already in a committed and monogamous relationship, sexting someone else is considered cheating. Well, there are some boundaries, limited from one relationship to another. The only point is if you are sexting someone else and out of your monogamous relationship, then you are cheating on your partner. On the other hand, if you want to be in a relationship, then honestly and translucent connection is a must. If your partner allows you to sext someone else, then you are good to go!
  • Sometimes, you end up sending your nudes to a person you just met but never got a response as promised. If so, then the chances are high that you fell for a trap and now your nude selfies are a part of pornography channel. If you are not psychologically and emotionally prepared to show the world your private parts, avoid sending such videos or photos to anyone. It is one main point you will learn while trying out sex education.

Some Examples to understand men better

If you are trying out sexting for the first time, you might feel overwhelmed pretty quickly. You will run into so many kinds of dirty texts, making it more difficult to cope up with it. It is more dangerous for men to sext because they might be the victim of sexual harassment more than women.

Winning over a girl's heart through sexting is pretty tough, but it isn't impossible. There's some better way for men to play the sexting game. Want to know more to avoid falling for trouble? If so, then here's how.

Ask for nudes only when you know one another

Women will never send their nudes to a stranger. You need to know the person before you start talking dirty to them.

Sending women some random sex messages or nudes will be a complete waste of time if you don't know the person. Moreover, it makes you look a lot creepy as sexting is a game of consent from both the parties. If she doesn't allow you to sext, avoid doing that then.

Always be patient

Most of the time, women won't just delve right into sexting the first time you start chatting with them.

Everything relies on the phone numbers and repeat calls you get. That's what you are playing for. Subsequent text messages or phone calls can always lead to something more titillating. So, in this game called sexting, patience is the real winner.

Get to invest some time

If you don't want to feel all ignored or just need instant gratification, you might have to pay to play the sexting game.

Sexting seems more or less like dating, but you need to work on it. Try to check some of the sexting examples on ways to talk dirty to your chosen girl. When you have mastered the rules, there's no one to stop you.

Do some reality checks

Most of the sexting profiles are not real, so, a reality check is always what you need. You will find the real ones of professional models or even women looking for that ultimate ego boost. Try researching the places where you are looking for such partners before wasting hours looking for that perfect one.

Remember that sexting sites, which allow the people to register for free, are always the worst ones. Here, you won't ever get a text back! On the other hand, there are times when you are just at the risk of talking dirty with an underage person.

It might lead to some criminal charges, which you don't want to be a part of!

Working out on the strategies

Remember that sexting is all about mind games. You need to be more teasing and even proactive other than being self-assured and demanding. If not, you will look like a complete moron then! On the other hand, you need to create a mystery revolving around you.

That makes you look like a challenge, which everyone wants to participate in. The person with whom you are sexting should not know everything about yourself on the first go. It is up to you to make them want some more, and that leads to more sex chatting.

If you are up for a quickie, just pay for it. Some professionals are more than happy to serve you right if you can pay them their desired fees. Most importantly, never send nudes to a random stranger unless you want the world to know about your body.

Hoe Tip - How to Sext!

Well, furthermore, you need to be creative. You can send nudes upon request. But you should do that to the person you trust.

For men, the perfect way to send naked picture is a complete body shot and not just his penis, no matter how long and hard it might be. Women get an orgasm by watching ribbed muscles and abds and not just your dick.

A single dick picture is what women hate the most if there's nothing about the rest of the body. Generally speaking, women don't feel like sharing a male organ with anyone else. But if you do make her mad, she has every right to do anything with the picture and make it go viral!

So, be very careful with your moves. Women, on the other hand, might think of sharing nude pictures without their faces. Men tend to share hot images with others. So, just to maintain privacy, women would love to discard their faces or anything that will help others to recognize her.

Be sure about it!

Sexting is all about fun and nothing to be imposed on. So, unless you are sure of this dating norm, you should not go for it. But, once you get a taste of it, there's no turning back. With a bit of experience and tips taken, sexting can turn out to be as great as ever!

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