In the words of Amy Poehler in Mean Girls: "What's the 411? What has everybody been up to?"
Anal, that's what. Anal sex has been the hottest item on the sex menu these days especially with the popularity of gay community who were know to be sexually adventurous due to lack of vaginas.
Despite coming into the mainstream, anal sex has still been shrouded in a lot of mysterious stories, part of the reason being its intimidating nature, negative stigmas and tons of unfortunate first-time experiences that might deter many folks to try out this dish in the sexual menu.
This article has got your back and will prepare you to explore the mind- blowing orgasm of anal sex.
Also read: Anal orgasm, first time anal sex, how to have anal sex
How to prepare for Anal Sex (2022): Complete Guide [with Pics]
Is it necessary to rim in anal sex?
Anal intercourse is generally the insertion of the erect penis into a person's anus or rectum, for sexual pleasure. Various other forms of anal sex include fingering, the use of sex toys for anal penetration, oral sex performed on the anus (anilingus), and pegging.
Anal sex, unlike the name represents its specificity, can work with anyone with a butt. Hence, whatever is your gender identity or whosoever be your sexual partner or whether they have a penis or plan to wear a strap-on, you can readily engage in anal sex provided you have the right preparation and knowledge about it. Anal sex, just like regular sex, is as normal and genuine as having a moment.
Anal sex is a whole other option for sexual pleasure. Moreover, the myths and intimidations associated with it make it a hard exam for which you need before-hand preparation. Of course, it’s not like rocket science or very difficult to pass through, but the key to your anal pleasurable will surely lie on the path of education. Read on further to get yourself enlightened about the facts and fiction of anal play.
What are the anal hygiene tips that you must follow before anal sex?
Anal hygiene is the most important concern for people engaging in anal play. Maintaining anal hygiene is simple if you can follow the below steps-
Keep it Clean
Go to the bathroom at least 30-60 minutes before anal sex and use normal water to clean your genitals. Make sure to empty your rectum and clean it with mild soap to avoid rashes. Either too warm or too cold water will wreak havoc as they can bring cramps as well as irritate the tissues.
If you want to adopt a deep cleansing method, you can opt for enema 1-2 hours before anal play. You’ll be just using a few cups of water to clean extra inches of rectum. Too much water can cause imbalance in the digestive system.
Keep a Towel Handy
Many a times, anal intercourse gets messy and that’s why people try to avoid it with newcomers. However, an easy hack for this problem is keeping a towel on your bedside. It will come in handy if you get stains of bodily fluids, lubes or even fecal matter on bed sheets. After the play is over, put your towels in the laundry basket to avoid any further usage.
Try Gloves for foreplay
There are many advantages of using gloves like-
- They are the ultimate tools for a calm anal massage. This stimulates the erotic nerve endings and anal sphincter to enable better penetration.
- They are cost effective and efficient way to keep anal intercourse a clean venture.
- You also have a variety of gloves to make anal play fun. For instance, black gloves of tattoo artists are thin and come in jet black to make the process feel sexier. Nitrile gloves can be combined with oils for applying lube on your partner.
- Watching your partner put on gloves has also become a form of foreplay. You can excite your lover beforehand by creating suspense.
However, discard your gloves if they have wrinkles. It may cause irritations in your anus.
Don’t go from Butt to Vagina
‘Double-dipping’ from anus to vagina is like putting an ax on your own foot. It runs the risk of giving an unpleasant infection to your partner. Hence, if you intend to engage in vag-play after anal play, make sure that lube, oil or body fluids from anus do not get transferred to vagina or penis.
If it gets messy, stay calm and positive
Even after taking all precautions mentioned above, the probability of accidents reduces but does not wipe out completely. Hence if anal sex gets messy, it depends on you and partner to your next course of action as the situations depends. While some might end their sexual sessions, others would go for a quick shower and get back to bed to try some other form of play. What matters is that you don’t turn it into a freaky show.
How to prepare for anal sex?
To replace confusion and myths about anal sex with clarity and truth, sex experts bring this ultimate guide to prepare you for your D- day.
Educate yourself about anal sex
Before opening this article, you must have second thoughts on engaging in anal play. The idea seems to be nerve-wrecking considering all the fake information out there. But just like avengers prepared for the unknown factor of alien attack, you also need to arm yourself with all possible information on anal play. Anytime or anywhere if you feel worried about any aspect of anal play, just search more about it, and the information will be on your tips in the fascinating age of dominance of Google. Just don’t push yourself to it unless you get into your comfort zone.
Talk to your partner before anal sex
It might dishearten you to know that you can’t launch your tush-tush on a cup over coffee with a simple chit chat. If you are not even ready to talk about what you are going to do, how will you feel comfortable doing it?
What if they say Yes
This is a win-win situation for both the receiving and penetrating partner. Consent is the key to building a healthy relationship. You both can together explore and research about anal sex and try out different positions. Like all sex, anal sex is also better when combined with foreplay. You both can discuss things that turn you on. If you get your consent, ask follow-up Questions like Will penetration occur? Will you be using toys? Are there some things you don't want to engage in? Are there other things you really want to experiment with? What all can be included — lube, butt plugs, condoms — to make your experience more congenial?
What if they No
It is a good sign that your partner feels comfortable around you and can express even their unwillingness about something. You must respect that sort of understanding and help to get your boo in their own comfort zones before going full throttle on anal play. Easing into things and knowing what to expect will help you to have a comfortable experience.
Try it alone first
You must know that just like masturbation gives pleasure to your vagina muscles, also called labia, similarly you give yourself pleasure by fingering your butt hole. This gets all more exciting if done in a shower or bath tub. Hence before even thinking to explore out other’s butt hole, it is important to feel the same sensation yourself first. This will not only pump-up your credence and easement with butt play, it will also aid you to learn about your peach from a novel perspective.
Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of Clienterate: Why Orgasm Equally Matters- And How to Get It says "As you insert your fingers, insert them a bit upwards toward the tailbone since this is how the anus curves," Mintz says. "Push in slowly and stop with any resistance. Your goal is to loosen and prepare the anus, not force anything”.
Sex expert O’Reilly highlights what you can expect from this process. You'll feel the sensation of two muscles contracting around your finger: you can contract and release at will the external sphincter, and the internal sphincter (which is an involuntary muscle, hence it is controlled by the autonomic nervous system).
Go Slow
If you are new to the anal sex bandwagon, you might want to slowly venture into this journey. Don’t need to go all rogue and start out with the biggest sex toy just to impress your fellow partner. Rather, start small and enjoy the process to find your comfort level. This is why E.F Schumacher has highlighted the significance of “Small is beautiful”.
"If you penetrate too aggressively, you could tear your partner’s anal sphincter muscle," Zuckerman cautions. Hence, you can also consider to go through the anal training kit as a precautionary measure for both yourself and your partner.
Take help of Sex toys
Sex toys are a great way to start experimenting different sensations on your body. It also helps in getting an idea of what anal sex would feel like, especially for beginners. A common tip of using sex toys is to use a lot of lube because the anus doesn’t naturally lubricate itself. Also you must never insert anything into your butt that doesn't have a flared base as unlike vagina, rectum doesn’t have an ending and non-flared bases can damage your intestines.
Common sex toys to be used
- Beginners can start with anal beads. They are small, easy to carry and you can go at your own pace. Just like Anesthesia Grey was experimented on by Christian Grey in the movie Fifty shades of Grey. You can begin by inserting the small bead first and keep inserting the larger beads as per your comfort zone.
- You can also try a vibrating butt and insert it slowly by adjusting to your feeling.
- Lovehoney’s booty Buddy silicone butt play is also ideal for beginners. But silicon sex toys should be used with water based lube and not silicon lubes. You can start by using small plugs for a few weeks and later switch to bigger ones.
Or use Fingering
Try using your fingers as a substitute for penis for insertion into butt holes. You can also lubricate your fingers with oil, creams or other forms of lubes. If it feels comfortable, you can continue, and if it’s too much, end your session and try next day. You might feel your butt hole has stretched and gotten bigger but relax and it will retain its original form. Once you fell in with your finger, you can ask your partner to fill in.
Do not avoid anal foreplay
So, your partner agreed to your much awaited demand of anal sex. But don’t get too excited as you have still not got the green light to go ahead. Just as you warmed your booty in solo anal preparation, you must be mentally and physically prepared for anal sex with a partner. This is necessary because your body is most receptive to pleasure and sensation when hormones levels of oxytocin and endorphin are elevated. This elevation is achieved by a carefully curated foreplay which leads to the much desired orgasmic pleasure. It is not much difficult, you just need to use the same techniques of arousal in anal sex as you use in normal sex.
Stock up on Lube
Lube!Lube!Lube!. You should be all in for lube since your anus doesn’t have natural lubricating properties and would definitively need all the external help from you. Moreover, the anal opening is narrower than the vaginal opening, that’s another reason for more lube in this part.
“Slow and slippery” is the M.O. of Alicia Sinclair, sex coach and CEO of the anal wellness brand b-Vibe. But, you can also try water, oil or silicon based lubes depending on your sex toys, comfortability and availability. Use water based lubes on silicone toys as they get easily damaged by silicone lubes. Similarly, oil lubes are not compatible with latex condoms. You can also go for home-based lube like coconut oil, baby creams, olive oil and so on.
Don’t forget protection
It is commonly construed that protection isn’t necessary in anal sex. But expert’s opinions are opposite on the matter. "If your partner wears a condom and uses it properly, the degree of protection is excellent for such diseases as Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HIV, Hepatitis B and C, Syphilis," says Dr. Gersh. This is because most of these are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. Also since faeces contain bacteria, you can catch bacterial vaginosis post sex.
And if you are looking for another reason, expert’s have highlighted that even anal sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies since the little swimmers from semen can easily reach to the vaginal opening.
Hence, you must ensure to use condom and change it if you transition to vaginal sex post anal sex.
How do I use a Douche/Enema? Step by step process!
Enema/Douche is the introductory liquid that goes via the butt and large intestine to completely clear out your bowel movements.
Sex expert Sinclair remarks that an enema is not sine qua non for anal intercourse. But if you would like to take additional precautions apart from soap and water or a simple baby wipe — which are sufficient for satisfactory cleansing — you can use an enema for an intense and more thorough clean. You just need to follow these steps-
- Buy an enema kit (aka "hot water bottle and syringe kit") like Fleet Saline Enema, from your nearby pharmacy store. It will consist of a hot water bottle, a plug, a rectal tip and a hose.
- Dump the saline solution in the bottle. Wash the bottle and nozzle thoroughly and fill it again with fresh warm water.
- Screw the nozzle to the bulb and lubricate the nozzle for smoother texture (foreshadowing) atleast one hour before butt sex.
- Now, sit on the tub or toilet, slide the nozzle into your butt and sprinkle the water into your butthole.
- Hold the water for about 10-15 seconds and release it into the toilet. You can repeat this step until all the water gets released.
- Cleanse the nozzle and bulb with a mild soap immediately and store it away when it gets dry.
- Happy engaging in your anal play!
What are the common mistakes one do during the anal play?
The myths around anal inter-course can lead to some mistakes which are as follows-
- Diving into sexual play without the consent of your partner. Hence, make sure to be in your senses even in the heat of the moment.
- According to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, most of the STIs are transmitted anal. Hence, using anal sex as form of play and birth control is a misconception.
- ‘Bandwagon effect’- People just get into anal sex because it is popular without properly researching about it.
- Most people bypass their lubes. But you risk the anus to abrasions as unlike vaginas, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate. It is also less pliable than other orifices.
- Bringing out a tenser version during penis insertion makes anal sex uncomfortable for your partner.
What are the most favorable anal-sex positions you must try on?
After getting educated on the dos and don’ts of anal play, you can go the next steps of trying different positions for new sensations. These sex positions are-
Curly Wurly-
This position is a must try for beginners who doesnt want to engage in hard anal play, rather they prefer cute, intimate and cuddly moments with their partners.
Lie down on the bed closely to each. The receiving partner will be in front of the giving partner, with their legs brought up till chest. Lifting your legs up and away from your body will open up the butt sphincter to facilitate easier penis penetration.
Doggy Style-
All Game Of Thrones fans need no introduction to this sex position. Thanks to our all time fiery couple Daenerys Targaryen and Drogo. The receiving partner just needs to bend over wherever he feels comfortable- bed, sofa, chair. The penetrating partner kneels behind him and slowly enters your anus.
Missionary
This position is not just for penis-in-vagina sex, but it equally plays its charm in anal sex.The receiving partner lies down on bed with his legs wide apart in order to open up his pelvic region. While, the penetrating partner goes for the butt hole.
Conclusion:
"Consent is vital in all play, and surprising your partner with a new sexual experience is never a good idea." – Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator. Apart from this, you should always apprise yourselves of your partner’s sexually transmitted diseases. As anal sex is a must for your sexual repertoire, but not at cost of safety or in the name of foul play.
FAQs
- What food should I avoid before anal sex?
Dos: You can go for protein and fiber rich diets which hardens your poop just enough for an easy release. Fruits, nuts, vegetables, and whole grains are popular sources of fiber. Drink lots of water for regular bowel movement.
Don’ts: Avoid caffeine, coffee and other alcohol based drinks.
- Should I shave my butt or go natural?
There is no right answer to this question as various people prefer different scenarios. While some love the natural scent and texture of your body hair, others hate the sight and feel of fecal matter getting stuck in those hair. Although, you always have the option of enema and anal wash, you still should ask your partner what they like.
- Is it necessary to rim in anal sex?
It isn’t if you and your partner have checked for sexually transmitted diseases or are in a monogamous relationship.
However, raw anal sex is not 100% safe. Therefore, sex experts recommend practicing safe sex always with rim instruments like condoms, dental dams, gloves.