A Complete Guide on How to Last Longer in Bed (2020)

Men find themselves flipping various information sources on how to last long in bed.

Rather than working on proven solutions, they fall into gimmick products on the internet, compounding the problem.

You might want to last longer in bed, but are not happy with the sexual outcome.

Maybe you feel that your better half or partner is not satisfied, and you would want her to last longer. 


The reason could be manifold, but proven solutions are there for your rescues, such as home therapy, pelvic exercises, physiotherapy, and more. If you are not lasting as per the desired time, then you are suffering from premature ejaculation.

A medical condition in which you reach orgasm and eject prematurely, thus, lacking control. In simple terms, ejaculation occurs before you want it to happen. This paves the way to a question, “How do I last longer in bed?”

Taking into consideration the amount of time a man lasts could vary though the length of time could be a concern only if it is bothering you and your partner. If both of you are on the same page, it should not pose a problem.

Conversely, if it is something affecting both of you, then it can spread negative vibes in your relationship. When a problem occurs, it is an apt time to ponder on how you can last longer in bed. Any solution that you adopt has to be proven and devoid of any side – effects.

As per a 2005 research, it was recorded that around 500 couples use stopwatches to see how long they last while having sex at four weeks of sex sessions.

And the average time that was measured was 5.4 minutes. This should tell you that most men don’t last too long.If you have been ejaculating within less than a minute, then it could mean that you have a premature ejaculation issue.

In PE, men don’t last for too long. The reason why PE is so frustrating is that you don’t have any control over it. However, a few things can be done for all those hopeless men who can’t control their ejaculation. 

Myths About Female Orgasm

Guys equate marathon sex sessions with great sex. But women and men are wired differently. Most women prefer 10 to 20 minutes of passionate and rough sex. Men think on the lines to have passionate sex for hours to pleasure a woman.

For a woman, a favorite sexual activity might be a quickie at a shower or a back of the seat romp

Just remember, you have to be a passionate lover! What you need is around 10 minutes of passionate sex and not 2 hours of mundane endless pumping.

Size of Penis Equates to Female Satisfaction

Guys! There is no need to worry about your size. The size of penis does not matter for women. As per studies, nearly 60 % of women are least bothered about the penis size. Also, the average size of a penis is lesser as per the beliefs of men.

When you ask women, who have been your lover, she would say it is just rarely, it would mean a number. Mostly they would say that their best lovemaking was a passionate experience.

Women are Not into Too Much Sex Like Men Do

We are not in that old age anymore. Women love sex, and they fantasize about sex just as men do. If men knew this reality, things would have been much different for both men and women! They have their own fantasies just like men.

Women are turned on in different ways in comparison to men. Often what arouses a woman is a lot complex in stature to men. Guys could be turned on by seeing a girl with a hot body, but for women, it is not about a visual.

The Female Orgasm - Porn vs Reality

For a Woman to Orgasm Penetration is Necessary

Humans love sex. Just as men love sex, women do, but both of them have their ways of enjoying sex. Men are known to love orgasm in every encounter, women love this as well, but there is a problem with them. Nearly 30 % of women cannot reach orgasm.

Though this percentage is not good, there is a definite answer to this. No need to worry as orgasm to a woman can be given various ways- after and before penetration.

What Is Premature Ejaculation?

A frustrating event that can befall a man is premature ejaculation. It is unexpected, and embarrassing as it can turn one of the most significant events in life to a disappointment. Ideally, no one wants to say sorry before or after sex.

But for most men, premature ejaculation can be a frustrating thing.

This is common and affects every man at some point of time in their lives. Though you might experience premature ejaculation in your 20’s or 30’s, though nearly 2 out of 3 men have stated that they have experienced it at some point in time in their lives.

Knowing you are not alone is comforting, but it cannot lighten the reality or the trouble behind closed doors.

If you want to last longer in bed, you need to do something about it. It is far easier said than done.

You might be suffering from premature ejaculation, and then you might be ejecting within one minute, no matter how hard you are trying to delay it.

One of the things that drive you crazy is there is no control over it.

Yes, you might be able to last a bit longer by thinking about your favorite porn star, but this is not a subjective solution.

Abella Danger

Premature Ejaculation - Tips to Make your Sex Last Longer

If problems of premature ejaculation prop up, solutions are there to help you last longer. You are not destined to deal with this issue for the rest of your life. Numerous solutions are available. A correct solution would depend upon the causes of premature ejaculation.

Sometimes a combination of solutions may provide you the best results. Once you discuss with your doctor about this problem, it can help you determine which solution might help you achieve satisfactory levels of sex with your partner.

Premature ejaculation is embarrassing; you are not alone, as 30 % of men suffer from it.

Last Longer in Bed + Cure Premature Ejaculation

Tip 1: Clear Communication with Your Partner

One of the things that you can do while suffering from premature ejaculation is to communicate with your partner.

Open communication would reduce anxiety levels of both craving for a satisfactory experience behind closed doors.

Studies reveal that premature ejaculation prevents men from complete intimacy in their relationships even though the partner might be satisfied with sexual intercourse.

talking in bed

The conversation can be as simple as choosing a particular position that will help you to last longer.  You might be thinking it is a big deal, but this would not be a significant issue for your partner.

Better communication channels with your partner would help you brood over this issue at the back of your head. Not only will the problem become worse, but it can ruin your relationship.

Tip 2: Wear a Condom

Many men have reported a decrease in penile sensitivity, a significant drawback during sexual intercourse.

For men who are said to suffer from premature ejaculation that is decrease in penile sensitivity may get benefit by spotting a condom.

This might help you prolong your sexual activity. Wearing more than one condom at a time might cause it to break.

dick with condom

Tip 3: Numbing Creams

An ideal solution for premature ejaculation is numbing creams that sensitize the tip of the penis temporarily.

This is a practical, easy to use option, and before intercourse, you can use it paving for spontaneous sex.

Though it is an off – label treatment mechanism, a lot of evidence supports their use at a massive level.

numbing cream

Meta-analysis followed by systematic review shows those topical anesthetic agents for PE are moderately effective, and patients can tolerate them easily.

No form of side effects has emerged with the use of numbing creams like lidocaine, but if you do not wear a condom, the topical anesthetic cream might transfer on to the vaginal wall leading to vaginal numbness. Vaginal numbness can make it difficult for a woman to orgasm.

Tip 4: Yoga and Breathing Exercises

Ample evidence points to the fact that breathing exercises, along with yoga, help treat premature ejaculation.

As part of a study, regular practice of yoga for 21 days.

Has showed an improvement in premature ejaculation in a small percentage of people. 

Another research study proved that breathing exercises, in combination with stretching therapy, improved sexual satisfaction in men. 

This is supported by the fact that it enhances your self–esteem reducing physiological distress.

male yoga

Tip 5: Circumcision

Though it is a radical solution, but for premature ejaculation, circumcision is a viable treatment.

It desensitizes your penis, though incomplete circumcision might leave behind foreskin remnants resulting in premature ejaculation.

Some men believe that removing foreskin remnants at an initial phase of circumcision would increase ejaculation time and contribute to higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

It has to be said that it is not a preferred solution for premature ejaculation.

From circumcision, reduced sensitivity is not a positive sign. Before opting for surgery, undertake detailed research.


Tip 6: Different Positions will Help you Last Longer

Certain positions might help you last longer than others. Every man needs to be aware of what sexual position works for him.

There are some guidelines to followYou want to have gravity working for you and not against it. This might not mean that the missionary position might lead to some problem. 

In a missionary position, your penis is at a downward curve, but you have to hold your body weight. Keeping the bodyweight up requires flexing your muscles up, leading to faster ejaculation. You can try standing position if the couch or bed is at the right height.

Many men feel that standing during sex delays orgasm. Considering the height of the sofa or bed, the girl could lie on the back, and you can do standing missionary when you are standing bend over the doggy style.

Tip 7: Reduce Performance Anxiety

If you are nervous about having sex with a girl or busting quickly, mostly, you will continue the habit.

Sex is like a sport, if you think of missing a catch, then most likely, you would do it.

If you feel a sensation of coming quickly, you will do it. Hold on! This problem can be handled in various ways. The first way is a fun way. 

sex anxiety

If you have a girl with whom you are having sex regularly, then increase the frequency of sex. You need to have sex often. Practice makes a man perfect. Another tip to get rid of performance anxiety is through affirmations.

When you wake up in the morning and look up to the mirror saying that” I am going to do it.” Statements like “My sexual stamina is my strength would do wonders. You got an idea, and the key is to repeat it ten times before you step out.

Tip 8: Masturbate Regularly or Have Sex Often

Does masturbation help you last longer?

The answer to this question is yes. If the sensation of sex is not released via masturbation or sex, the sexual pleasure inside us starts to build.

In such cases, our body will be hypersensitive, making us orgasm prematurely.

Try to have sex often, and it should be more than once a week. When it comes to masturbation, you mustn't rush through the process. 

Accidentally you might be training yourself to release quickly, leading to premature ejaculation.

male masturbate

Tip 9: Take Your Time

Once you take a step towards sex, tackle things slowly. By controlling your arousal levels, you can last longer.

If you rush, you are likely to be disconnected from the body pleasures causing premature orgasm.

If you are overstimulated or anxious, it is easy to become worried.

Anxiety cuts you away from what is happening in your body and leads to premature ejaculation.

So what is the solution? Try to savor your sexual experience and enjoy every moment of it. Calm down and take it slowly. 

slow sex

Communicate with your partner by deep breaths; witness their thoughts, feelings along with physical connections. Make sure that you penetrate your body, and your mind is ready and calm.

Tip 10: Allow Her to Orgasm First

Helping your partner to orgasm first by foreplay would make the sex sessions longer.

The moment you go ahead with penetration, you can be confident that your partner has had sexual pleasure.

This takes the pressure off you as you are free to have sex without worrying about how long it is going to last.

Be aware that you might become aroused when you are pleasuring your partner, hence take a few moments to cool off before penetration.

how to orgasm -feature-

Tip 11: Distraction

Thinking about something boring would be an ideal resort for men to last longer in bed.

For others, it could cause ejaculation to happen soon.

Why? Sexual stamina is all about understanding sensations or signals of your body. Ideally, we want to establish connections with our bodies and not taper off.

More importantly, if you are absent during sex, not only you end up losing out on the pleasure aspect but detach from the touch. Your partner is going to notice all these signs as sex would become a boring routine for you.

thinking during sex

Tip 12: Alcohol and Drugs

Some men claim that drugs and alcohol help them to last longer in bed. Is there anything wrong with this strategy?

Firstly, researchers believe that consumption of both could lead to sexual dysfunction.

In a study conducted, it was found that men who smoked three cigarettes a day are more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation.

Secondly, if you need drugs or smoke before sex, you are well on your way to addiction, along with numerous nightmares.

alcohol and drugs

Tip 13: Toy Around

If you are looking for external aid to last longer in bed, what about a cock ring.

It is not going to work for all guys, but it might help to restrict the flow of blood from the penis.

You can also wear them around your balls. Most men have a tell around before ejaculation.

Most likely, the testes before reaching orgasm would be closer to the body. By spotting the orgasm, you can delay the orgasm from happening a wee bit longer.

simple cock ring-min

Tip 14: Ask an Expert

In case if you have tried everything and nothing seems to be working, the time is right to be discussing your problem with a doctor.

A lot of treatment options presented earlier can be challenging, and a specialist can help you use them effectively.

It is not about getting in touch with your inner self, but being aware of the mental or physical mechanisms helping you deal with premature ejaculation.


Tip 15: Too Much Pornography

Digital access to pornography is a new cultural norm. If you are a chronic user, it can have an impact on your sexual performance.

Not only it enforces bad masturbation habits and aids premature ejaculation, but it also creates a false impression that sex is all about penetration.

In reality, sex is all about sensation and passion. This does not translate into an exciting experience to view. The reason being we are more stimulated by hard-core videos that producers give us.

Majority of the orgasms guys have are when they watch porn alone. There is another problem developing. We are practicing in our head cut away from body awareness, which is one of the vital things to improve sexual stamina.

pornhub porn

Tip 16: Balanced Diet and Plenty of Rest

No secrets that fruits, along with vegetables, are a rich source of vitamins and nutrients.

What you might not be aware of is that you are helping yourself in the bedroom when you eat these fruits or vegetables regularly.

Examples are bananas and strawberries.

Secondly, you need to cut down on the intake of sugar. There is an age-old saying,” What goes up comes down.” 


The reality is that sugar increases your energy level along with the extension. Though the sugar buzz might go away, it is going to send you downward. Sugar crashes deplete the body of energy.

Lastly, try to get plenty of rest. When we are tired, we become anxious. This isn’t the situation we would like to find ourselves if we are looking to last longer in bed. Try to have 8 hours of sleep daily.

Tip 17: Shed Down Those Extra Kilos

To be overweight is not a cardiovascular disorder; it ensures that you do not last long in the bedroom.

Taking into consideration the fact that you might have problems with erection, too much fatty tissue can pose problems in your sexual life.

Experts suggest that for every 15 pounds you gain on your belly, you end up losing half an inch of your penis.

The worst part is gaining too much weight throws your penis off track.


Tip 18: Tech Support To Last Longer

There is a Prolong program, which is FDA approved, and it is said that the program can help men with ejaculation issues get rid of it.

This special device is helpful, and you should use it to see results. The device is worth $299.00.

The study program is six weeks long, and it combines vibration and studs, which fine-tune the sensitive area of your penis.

If you don’t want to spend money, then get the free app Premature Ejaculation App, which will help you with a three-step masturbation program for those suffering from PE. 


Tip 19: Treatment Suggestions

Most of the time, premature ejaculation, or PE can result from psychological disturbances or problems.

If you feel depressed and stressed, then you may suffer from PE.

Go and see a counselor to get into the root cause of the issue, and fix them as soon as possible. 

Some physicians may suggest both medical and psychological treatment to treat PE. And this usually helps.


Specific Exercises to Help you Last Longer in Bed

You have diet, supplements, and changes in lifestyle covered, now is there anything that you can do to improve your performance in bed. Yes, you can perform some premature ejaculation exercises.

Premature ejaculation exercises go on to strengthen the muscles that support the pelvic organs. The pelvic organs are urethra, bowel, and bladder. When you are in sound health, PC muscles ensure that they are in place, paving the way for better bladder control and proper sexual function.

Once the muscles are weak, you would notice adverse bladder functions with bitter sexual preferences.

There are a couple of ways to locate your PC muscles. They are the muscles that stop the flow of urine when you pee, and these are the muscles you will be working during PC exercises.

How to Use Your PC Muscle to Last Longer During Sex

One time try to stop the flow of urine when you pee and note the muscles where you are constricted and do not stop the urine a second time as it can lead to severe complications.

Secondly, it is possible to confirm if you are using the right muscles from the first step of noting what happens with your anus. Once your contract the PC muscles, your anus will be tightened, and if you relax your PC muscles, the anus will relax.

If this occurs successfully and without discomfort, then you have found your PC muscles. If you are new to PC exercises, you have to start with the basics. The moment you have located the PC muscles you can start with the basics.

  • The PC muscles have to be contracted for 2 to 5 seconds
  • After a brief pause repeat
  • You need to perform 5 to 15 sets spread over 2 to 5 seconds of contraction
  • This mini workout needs to be done three times a day
  • This can be quickly done at your home or office


It seems that pelvic exercises such as Kegel can help women, but it can help men. However, men will have to remain more committed to it if they want to see the results. The pubococcygeus muscle gets worked out, and it strengthens the muscles too. 

Herbal Remedies and Magic Pills Might Not Be A Safe Bet

Though there are proven or effective solutions helping you last longer in bed, many remedies are there that you have to avoid. On TV and online, you might stumble upon magic pills promising a ready cure to your sex life.

As many men want a quick fix solution, they go for an over the counter pill since they do not want their partner to be aware of the problem. Some of them consider it as a sin embarrassing to discuss it with their doctor.

Sadly, over the counter medicines or herbal remedies do carry risks. Firstly,

they are not recognized by the FDA, meaning that the medicines can have potential side- effects. Since you are not aware of the exact dose and ingredients of the herbal remedies, it is tough to be mindful of which options are safe. The side – effects could be seriously harming your health.

Weight Loss Can Help, BUT Gaining Weight Can Help Too!

According to another study, it was found that people with higher BMI, which is body mass index, can last much longer than those who have lesser fat, as well as weight. With increasing BMI, PE problems are decreased.  Those who had more bodyweight they last for around 7.5 minutes. 

Do Not Brood Over the Problem

Many men believe that when they suffer from premature ejaculation, the average latency time (the duration between penetration and ejaculation) is standard. Popular culture and sexual media content give men a false idea of what is normal. On an average latency time for most men is 5 minutes.

This leads men to a false assumption that they are dealing with premature ejaculation and not to cum faster when they are in a healthy range.

Men have to do it with time. Some men would like their penis to be long even though their partners are satisfied. In your head, the problem might become more prominent, and the wrong perception about premature ejaculation is formed.

This is going to be a disappointment but not going to turn a woman off.

If you regularly think that you are suffering from premature ejaculation, you would build this up in your mind till it becomes a cycle and interferes with your sexual satisfaction levels. Once again, it is a good idea to discuss the problem with your partner. After talking to your partner, you might feel that the problem is in your head as she is delighted with your sexual wonders.

Thinking on the lines of lasting longer regularly could make your partner uncomfortable. You are not focussed on pleasure but worried about how you long would you last in bed.

Do not assume sex as penetrative exercise. If you make your partner orgasm through manual or oral sex or even by a manual toy penetrating her, you might feel less pleasure.

Parting Words

Lasting longer in bed takes time and a level of patience. Your levels of self- esteem have a an important role to play on what happens behind the closed doors. Be mindful of your self-view, and try to keep out negative vibes.

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