How to be a Perfect Submissive in a BDSM relationship?

A relationship will only be perfect when it has a balance between its two tires and these two tires in BDSM are of sub and dom.

When you will see BDSM you will think that one person is dominating and another is submitting but this is not true both the person in a relationship have their role, a relationship cannot be based on only one person.

Most people think that in BDSM the role of the sub is to submit without limitations and boundaries but it is not true in BDSM sub always has a safe world and mutually decided which things to do that they are not ready for yet.

So if you are looking to try BDSM then you should know that you can't do whatever you want.

How to be a good submissive - Complete GUIDE - 2022

What is a Submission in BDSM?

BDSM is a two-person relationship in which one takes the role of dom and the other submissive. A submissive is a person who will masters wishes. 

This is the essential part of this power play. Moreover, this is not the only way as there are different peoples with different fantasies who practice different things, dom and sub is just one aspect of it.

Furthermore, a submissive person obeys all rules of masters however they are no rules of defined gender anyone can be the sub or dom. Whether submissive male or female has to perform the task given by the master or mistress.

They have to perform a specific task for their master. Moreover, they have to buy clothes, jewelry, accessories, and so on if the sub fails to perform any task he or she has to face the punishment from the master.

The Master can play with the body of the submissive person as he or she wants. So if you are looking to be submissive to your partner you have to obey the rules of your partner.

There are multiple roles and different types of submissions that you can try.


Is it normal to be submissive or engage in BDSM?

Are you still thinking that BDSM is a taboo then you are wrong? Time has changed and now people are trying different things and enjoying themselves. 

Moreover, submission in BDSM is the most common fantasy among people. We have gathered some statistics that will help to get to know about submissiveness.

According to the survey has been done by the Kinsey institute 1.8% of sexually active people said that they have been involved in BDSM for the last year moreover 22% of men and 12% of women men reported erotic responses to the BDSM.

Few things you need to know before you engage in submissive sex

a) Educate yourself first

Being a sub is not a light decision that you can take so easily, you have to take a strong decision because once you have decided it means that your life will be controlled by the other that is why you should educate yourself on all these things.

There are very fantastic books that have been written on dominance and submission. Moreover, there are few online communities whom you can contact.

You can read The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino gives you insight into the world of sub and dom.

You can also attend social gatherings which especially take place for the people who are interested in dom and sub, you can connect with the experienced people in this gathering.

b) Understand if you are the one

Before getting into the sub role you should get to know whether you are made up for this role or not. 

should come naturally otherwise you cant do justice to this role. But how you will get to know whether you are truly submissive or not?

Generally, it has been seen that a submissive is a person to gets turned on by the thought of being humiliated or dominated by a more powerful person but it does not mean that all submissives will react the same because some subs are individuals in powerful positions who only want to get rid out of their responsibilities.

If being a sub is not turning you on then you are not the person for this role.

c) Determine your submission level

Some people only get into the dom and sub relation because their sex life is so boring and they want to do to make it exciting this includes fantasy roleplaying with some light spanking or dirty talk. 

You should determine your submission level and whether you want to do it full-time or part-time. The best way is to try with little before getting completely into it.

d) Test your limit

Before getting into the role of sub you should check your limits up to what extent you are comfortable and can obey the order of your master? Once you will get into the world of dominance and submission there are so many things that will check your comfort zone.

Just because your master wants it does not mean you will do beyond your limits, your limits should be defined.

e) Be ready to communicate

Communication is an important part of any relationship although it is also important for dom and sub relation. 

Being shy will not be beneficial for you if you fail to express yourself. You have to pay the cost for that.

You should share your innermost sexual desire otherwise it can affect your safety.

If you are playing a sub role then you must openly communicate with your partner to ensure consensual sex play. Before the start of the scene, both partners should share their sexual fantasies, wants, and desires.

Moreover, communication will help to build healthy relationships.

f) Learn about the safety (never play with Safeword)

Safety should be an utmost priority, now it is the motto of BDSM play and the BDSM community. 

If you are new to BDSM or you are veteran safety should be your top priority. Even if you are sub or dom you must follow the safety of others as there is some harm in the BDSM.

learn about all the safety majors and never forget to implement them in the play.

g) Set a clear line between fantasy and reality (discuss boundaries)

BDSM is not easy while performing. You have to take specific majors, learn all the things, take the consent of the partner, get to know the limits, and so on. 

When we get into the play we forget to clear the line between fantasy and reality.

Sometimes it may be troublesome which is why you should clear the line between fantasy and reality.

h) Train yourself

Every game has its set of rules that you have to follow but it is not easy to learn all the rules overnight and follow them. 

For this, you have to train yourself so that you can perform well. Moreover, it will help to build a strong relationship with your partner.

Few Rules you need to follow to be a good submissive

a) Listen and don't speak

One of the most important and first rules of being a sub is to be silent. Your master does not want to hear your opinion. Your role is just to listen to your master and obey the instructions. 

That is why you must practice silence and if it is getting hard for you to be silent, you should start slowly and over a period of time, you will get used to it.

Moreover, listening does not mean just listening to the instructions of the dom beyond that you should observe the body language of the dom, some dom enjoys the sub who begs for punishment, or some enjoy the subs who do unquestioning worship.

To make this relationship good and happy as a sub you have to understand the behavior of the dom.

b) Let him decide more

Once you have taken the role of sub it means that you have ended all your decision-making power you cannot make any decision. 

You could not have your opinion, suggestion or anything, all the decisions should be taken by the dom. As a sub, your role is to make the life of your dom easier, not hard and for this, you should obey all the decisions taken by the dom.

Moreover, subs are also not perfect. They often make mistakes but if you do make mistakes you should accept the punishment given by your dom.

c) Become Less Assertive

If you are in the full-time role then this should be your lifestyle rather than just a role. 

Moreover, a good sub is one who is polite not only to dom but to everyone else. Unless and until your master asks for an opinion you should make an opinion or decision moreover you should not make rules as there is another person who can make rules for you.

You just have to follow it.

d) Practice Submissive Body Language

A dominant and sub have a specific body language moreover a good sub knows their place and they never fail to show it. Your body posture should look smaller. 

Moreover, you should walk by lowering your shoulders and keeping your head down.

This will make your dom happy. Sometimes doms can ask subs to wear collars in the public this will help to remind slave mentality outside the bedroom moreover you should take the training sessions to be a perfect sub as no one is an expert in everything but the best way is to learn.

Challenges to being the submissive in a Dominant relationship 

Being a sub in a 24/7 relationship is not an easy task it is also a stressor like a full-time job and children. Moreover, the chances are higher that sub may often mess things up. 

Moreover, it is not an overnight process and it is not possible to change the behavior instantly.

Furthermore, when you are tired it is so challenging to serve others. The best way to overcome this challenge is to just say yes to daddy to your dom, this will help both to keep calm and be in the relationship.

Take the submission to day to day life

Initially, it may seem hard to you to be submissive in your day to day life, bringing that personality out of the bedroom and practicing it in daily life is a slight tough task but is overwhelming also and you can start small and over the period of time, you will be used to it. 

You should keep your words and should give respect to your master.

Moreover, you can give them the opportunity to choose the things for you. Below mentioned are some things with which you can start.

  • Let dom choose the outfit for you
  • Take the permission before spending money
  • Inform the dom while leaving the house.

Seek help from the other BDSM communities

Still, most of the people in our community think that BDSM is taboo and that is why finding a friend who will accept this personality is a tough task. Sometimes being a sub is very stressful and lonely. 

The best way to get rid of this loneliness is to find a BDSM community online with whom you can spend your time.

True submission is not just a role, it is a way of life, you have to obey your master or mistress.

Final words

BDSM is the best way to spice up your sex life moreover this is no longer taboo and you can practice it openly in this blog we have mentioned all the details that you should know before getting into it. 

Follow all the guidelines strictly you will have the best time with your dom.

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