How to be a Dominant – 16 Easy Steps – Spice Up YOUR Sex Life (2020)

Sexual intercourse plays a vital role in maintaining a healthy relationship. You can spice up a bland relationship by showing some aggression on the bed.

However, this does not mean violence. It means being dominant over your partner in a certain way.

Dominant relationships are a thing, and people perform such acts to take their sex lives to new level. BDSM or Bondage, Discipline, Submission is a norm for many couples. 

People get excited at the thought of being dominating. Some people feel the excitement by being on the receiving end. Sex is fun, but adding such ways during intercourse can take the enjoyment to a higher level.

Association with danger, abuse, criminality

Some people think that being dominant means portraying violence on the other person. This notion is entirely wrong. Couples who are dominant do not induce the act without the other person's consent. It cannot be a criminal offense if the other person agrees to participate in such acts.

Sexually dominating nature is thought to be an abuse for the second person. It should not be considered physical abuse as the couple only wants to spice up their love life. If sexual dominance and submission makes them happy, then it is entirely all right.

If the people involved in the act are okay with it, then other people should not take offense on their behalf. Here, the media's role is critical. Even in fiction, such characters are shown as negative beings.

People who are involved in dominant sexual acts are often demonstrated as sexual offenders in novels and movies. One must understand that such actions are a choice, and everyone has the right to have a good time in the bedroom.

We can distinguish dominance in three different categories - light, medium, and aggressive. Let us understand the three in detail with examples.

How to be a Dominant

Some people think that being dominant means portraying violence on the other person. This notion is entirely wrong. Couples who are dominant do not induce the act without the other person's consent. It cannot be a criminal offense if the other person agrees to participate in such acts.

\Sexually dominating nature is thought to be an abuse for the second person. It should not be considered physical abuse as the couple only wants to spice up their love life. If sexual dominance and submission makes them happy, then it is entirely all right.

If the people involved in the act are okay with it, then other people should not take offense on their behalf. Here, the media's role is critical. Even in fiction, such characters are shown as negative beings.

People who are involved in dominant sexual acts are often demonstrated as sexual offenders in novels and movies. One must understand that such actions are a choice, and everyone has the right to have a good time in the bedroom.

We can distinguish dominance in three different categories - light, medium, and aggressive. Let us understand the three in detail with examples.

Light Domination

It is best if you have not tried dominance before. Start on a lighter note. Do not go utterly harsh on your partner for the first time itself.

Starting slow will provide you time to get comfortable; this would also let you explore future possibilities.

  • Initial Steps: You don't want to startle your partner with awkward spanks in their body parts. Start with baby steps. Pin her against a wall and kiss her gently. Try to kiss her neck sensually. An occasional touch on her waist would get the mood going.
Light Domination
  • Whisper in her ear: Talking dirty is quite common nowadays. This way, you can get her excited by just using the right words. Whisper in her ear what plans you have for the night. Let her know how you both are going to advance further. Many people stay quiet during sex. Break the monotony and talk dirty to her.
  • Assert your strength: Once you are done with the starting phase, it's time to show some physical dominance. Pick her up and take her to your bedroom. Gently throw her on the bed and get over her. Start kissing and nibbling her lips. You can also pin her arms over her shoulder. This way, she would feel dominated and wouldn’t be able to move around.
  • Pull back the hair: We all know that doggy style is a boon. This position assures maximum pleasure but you can take the fun a notch higher. While you are at it, pull her hair. You will have a comfortable grip of her hair, and while pulling them back, you would notice that she has started to moan even more. Do not be harsh and ensure that you pull lightly.

Medium Domination

Now is the perfect time to advance a step further. You both have set the mood and are in that zone. Go ahead with the second category of domination.

  • Spank her: Start slapping her/his ass gently. Let them get comfortable with the idea of spanking. If she is okay with it, start spanking her harder. Make sure that with every spank on her butt, you are creating a slapping noise. She will begin to moan as you would increase the intensity.
Medium Domination
  • Nibbling: BIte her on various body parts. The nipples are the most sensitive area. Bite gently on the nipples and around her breasts. You can also bite on her neck. A hickey can assert the dominance of the highest kind. Lay her on the bed facing down, and bite her at the back of her neck. You would be amazed to see her losing control. A hickey would be visible on the neck after you are done; this way, you can remind her of the fun both of you had.
  • Teasing: Teasing will give you complete control over your partner. While you are having sex, stop right before giving her an orgasm. This would drive her crazy, and she will ask for more. Instead of continuing the pounding, start kissing her passionately or go down on her. Bite her nipples and lead her to the most enigmatic orgasm that she can ever experience.
  • Add kinky stuff: You may also use some items to promote maximum pleasure. Things like handcuffs will make her go crazy. Tie her hand to the side of the bed and show aggression on her. She will realize that there is no way out from that place and would eventually submit to you. You can also use two handcuffs to get kinkier. Things like blindfolds are also useful. While she is unable to see anything, surprise her by touching her private parts. Trust me, this element of surprise will surely induce goosebumps.
  • Add more extreme items: You can use some more naughty things like a candle. Yes, burning a candle and dripping the warm wax on her body can be painful. But this pain would be converted into pleasure because of the sexual environment. You can also use some aromatic oils to massage her before the act. Having sex in the shower can be considered another form of dominance.

Aggression Techniques

You can now move even further and go for some aggressive measures. Be careful, and don’t harm your partner in any way.

  • Stripping: After following the mild techniques, go ahead with the punishing form of aggression. You would notice that she is now getting comfortable with your moves. Try some other methods e.g., strip her naked. You might get carried away and start tearing the clothes. Whatever you do, make sure that you are not doing any harm to her.
Aggression Techniques
  • Gagging: While she is tied to the bed with handcuffs, you can gag her with a gag ball. Some people also love to use their fingers to gag their partner. The best device that you may use to gag her is your erect penis. Put your dick in her mouth and start with the process slowly. Once your penis starts touching her throat, she will begin gagging. Know when to stop.
  • Choke her: To get the maximum out of your sex session, choke her with your hands. Pin her down to the bed and gently wrap your fingers around her neck. Slowly increase the pressure, and she would start enjoying this dominating behavior. Do not overdo it as you might end up hurting your partner.
  • Role-play: Around the world, couples increase their sensuality by performing various roles in the bedroom. You can also use costumes to perform a specific character. This will be a fun way of dominating your partner. Your partner can be a wild cougar, and you can pray for her. The limits are endless for roleplaying.
  • Use toys: Using a vibrating dildo will ensure an incredible orgasm for her. You can add these sex toys for spicing up your sexual act. Be creative with their use.
  • Move out of the bedroom: Do not confine your sex life to the bedroom. Be a risk-taker and have sex in different parts of the house. Making love in your car can also be great fun for both of you. Just make sure to be safe and do not offend any law.
  • Gender-neutral: Do not think that this article targets only men. Women also can be equally or sometimes more dominating in the bed. You can assert your dominance on your man by following the same steps. Or, you can use techniques like edging to make your lover go weak in their knees.

What should be the next step after being bossy?

Be a gentle human being. Show some care after you finish the sexual act. Now, you both are exhausted. Hold your partner gently and kiss their forehead.

Give them an affectionate hug. It is important to hydrate after a power-packed romping session. Ask your partner whether they need something or not.

next step after being bossy

Ask Permission for sexual domination

Sexual dominance is not for everyone. Before commencing the act, make sure that your partner is comfortable with it. Start only when they have given their consent for it. Do not forget that consent is an essential aspect of sex.

If your partner does not want to get kinky or is showing discomfort during the act, stop doing it immediately. The primary purpose of domination is adding some fun elements to the rather dull and monotonous sex life.

It should not be disturbing/ hurting anyone. Understand the difference between sexual-domination and harassment.

These were the ways which tell you how to be dominant in your bedroom or any room where you like to have sex with your partner. If you have other interesting ideas and kinky things to share you can always write to us.

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