How to be a Dominant – 16 Easy Steps – Spice Up YOUR Sex Life (2019)

Dominance put under some restraint works great in all the aspects of our life like a relationship, work, etc. However, we often forget to be dominant on the bed and prefer to have plain boring sex with our partner.

Surely your partner must be a gentlewoman who likes to be pampered and caressed gently while making out but sometimes she needs a real spanking, and she will never tell you that feeling that you will think that she is slutty and kinky. 

This often makes sex life boring, and you tend to ignore that you have to please your partner in bed as well. Being aggressive, manhandling, and sometimes just being a little rough on the bed helps to ignite sparks in your relationship and you must never think that as a bad option.

Today we are discussing the ways in which you can be dominant that will make your partner anticipate your next move! 


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"...the dominant partner is the person in control, so chances are they will be the ones applying bondage for example..."

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Tips and Tricks on How to be a Dominatrix

Advice #1 Go Step-by-Step

If you are thinking about being dominant and you have never done that before with your partner, it is recommendable to make your advances little slower and increase your aggressiveness step-by-step.

You don’t want to scare your partner by pulling her hair and slamming her on the bed out of nowhere and that my friend can make you starve for the next week or so. Be a little slow and casual in your approach. 

Try by pinning her up against a wall, kiss her, lift her legs up so that she is under your control completely and then she will have no option other than submitting herself to you.

After that, you can lift her up straight to the bedroom where she will try to match up to your aggressiveness, and that love fight will make your sex relation steamier than before.


Advice #2 Show Your Strength

Women always like men who are stronger and brawnier than other guys and this works while having sex as well. A man who is dominant and can lift his girl anytime is the dream partner for any woman because she knows that this dominance will reflect in their intimate moments as well.

Therefore, do not forget to make her feel that you are more powerful than her and that you can pin her anytime you want. Pick her up from nowhere and try having sex at unusual places like coffee tables, kitchen platforms, etc. which will always keep her guessing about your next plan! 

The strength you have can be shown on the bed by tossing her on the couch, fondling and roughly grabbing her assets, pressing your body strongly against hers while making out and in many other ways. 

The whole idea behind this is not to hurt her in any way but to make her squeal in excitement so that she always feels turned on when you are around her.


Advice #3 Talk Dirty

Talking dirty always helps to get a woman turned on especially if she herself is talkative while having sex. Many people prefer to have sex without uttering a word from the mouth, and this often gets very boring and unpleasant.

Whispering dirty things in her ears can also turn her on in no time and she can reciprocate your words with action or even give it back to you that will make the sex session even more interesting and funny for both of you.


Advice #4 Nibbling and Biting

Nibbling and biting gently on the sensitive areas can prove to be an excellent trigger for having wild and erotic sex sessions with your partner.

Biting her nipples, ear lobes, neck, waist and other sensitive areas which are also considered to be the weak spots for any woman can make your make outs that much more steamy and blissful. However, bite and nipple to please her as overdoing it might divert or hurt her which you would never want to happen.

Sometimes, even pinching her playfully on her tummy or bumps can ignite her passion and that could also lead you both towards a passionate sex session full of lust and action!


Advice #5 Pull Her Hair

Some women like to get their hair pulled especially when someone is nailing them from behind while some are not happy with this idea. However, there are still plenty of women who do not know how it feels if someone pulls their hair while having sex.

Therefore, you can try this the next time you have sex with your partner. Also, you will have pull it enough to show your dominance as overdoing it can be hurtful as well. 


Advice #6 Spank Her

Spanking her ass is the kinkiest thing to do while you are ramming her from behind. Inducing a little bit of pain with pleasures of sex is always a recommendable thing as that excites you and your partner even more and sex is all about excitement, pain, and pleasure.

If your partner is new to the concept of spanking, start by giving gentle and loving slaps on her bummies, and you can gradually increase the pace, frequency, and power behind those slaps when she starts to enjoy it.

Another kinky thing to do it hold her hair by one hand and spank her ass with the other and keep increasing your to-and-fro motion so that the pleasure matches to the pain. It is a great way of showing total dominance but experiments with that only if your partner is comfortable and enjoys it as much as you do.


Advice #7 Tease Her

Teasing is an indirect way of showing total dominance over your partner. It is so because while teasing you stimulate not only the sexual urges of your partner but also have real control over them which no other leash can even offer.

Also, while teasing makes it sure that you are not letting her cum ecstatically as you have to tease her even more before you can witness a shuddering and explosive orgasm rushing out from her love petals. 

If you are having an intercourse with her, you can drive her crazy with your powerful thrusts but just when she is about to reach a powerful orgasm, you can either pull out your dick from her and start kissing and nibbling her all over again. Do this a few times, and she will be like begging you to let her cum.

After that, you can give her an experience of a lifetime by rocking her hard and by spanking and biting her if possible to make her cum as hard as she could.


Advice #8 Trash Talk

Trash talking with your partner is taking dirty talking to another level as it includes degrading your partner, yelling obscene comments on her and making her sound like a real slut.

Some women like such stuff, and it ignites a kinky feeling in them and allows them to free themselves from all the inhibitions while having sex. 

However, do this only if your partner is comfortable with it and always make a point to apologize after having sex to make her feel that it was all for pleasure and none out of intention. 


Advice #9 Add Handcuffs and Blindfolds

Handcuffs and blindfolds are great ways of showing total dominance over your partners. Handcuffs restrain the movements of your partner, and therefore you can have her in any way you like. It also sends trickles of sweat mixed with anticipation down her spine as she thinks what will be your next move.

You can tease her however you want by kissing her thighs and advancing the kisses and licks right next to her love hole. You can also give oral pleasure to her while she is handcuffed and make her scream and squeal with excitement, lust, and pleasure.

Blindfolding and handcuffing your partner at once is a familiar ritual for most of the people who like to have erotic and kinky sex. However, you can get her blindfolded if you want to surprise her with a new posture or pose so that she can experience its real thrill.

Also, blindfolds ensure that your partner does not have a clue about your advances and she does not know when she is going to be fondled, kissed, nibbled or even nailed. This induces a whole new level of excitement which kindles fire into your sex life.

Some men also close the mouth of their partners by tying it with a piece of cloth. It is a kinky way of having sex as your partner can neither scream nor deny your sexual advances verbally.

Do this only if your partner is comfortable with this idea and be as dominant as you can while trusting in her so that she feels the need to shout badly.


Advice #10 Strip Her

Stripping your partner is surely a sexy thing, but when you do that with dominance you get more thrills down your spine, and your partner will love to submit herself to your after you have stripped her naked on the bed.

Some sex partners even like to tear each other’s clothes while having sex and that too can be a way of showing dominance and control over your partner.


Advice #11 Gag Her

Gagging is one of the filthiest ways of showing dominance and having sex with your partner. Gagging works excellent when you have handcuffed her because she has no choice but to accept everything your offer in her mouth.

A hard and erect dick is the most effective tool in making her gag, but you can also try it with dildos and some other sex toys.


Advice #12 Include Sex Toys

One of the smartest ways to show dominance is to give multiple orgasms to your partner. Using sex toys like anal vibrators and vibrating dildos are a great way to extend your lovemaking sessions and to introduce your partner to the world of kinky sex.

Also, it will help her gain more pleasure, and you can use these toys to control your partner and tease her as many times as you want.


Advice #13 Choke Her

Choking is a great way of showing total dominance, but care must be taken to be as gentle as possible since overdoing it can be pretty dangerous. If your partner is new to this kind of dominance start by pressing her neck slowly and gradually, you can increase the pressure when she gets used to it.

There is a difference between being aggressive and being abusive and you must always be careful while showing your dominant side as it should not make your partner feel uncomfortable while having sex with you.


Advice #14 Take it to the Extreme

Once you and your partner get used to having rough and kinky sex sessions, try to experiment with some extreme things.

This can include having sex on a cold floor, sex while having showers, sex with a hot lube and much more. Some couples like to get oily and dirty while having sex as it allows them to be more dominant and kinky with their partners.

One can also use hot oil or wax to introduce their partners to the world of painful pleasures. Many perverts and BDSM lovers have also tried to tie both the legs and hands of their partners either on a bed on in a standing position to show total dominance over their partners.

However, it is always advisable to take the consent of your partner before doing such kinky stuff as doing it without permission will be considered as humiliating and sexually abusing your partner.


Advice #15 Consider Roleplay

Playing different roles while having sex can be a great way of showing dominance without actually crossing the limits.

In these role-playing activities, you can be an animal or predator-like tiger or lion, you can even be a doctor or wrestler, and your partner will actually take your obnoxious dominance in a playful manner. You can also play a master to your partner and think of him or her as your sex slave.

This will introduce you both to the world of kinky pleasure and dominance where sex can be more fun and thrilling than ever. 


Advice #16 Be Overall Dominant & Aggressive

Just being dominant is enough to raise the hotness quotient while having sex. It means that you can make her submit herself anytime and anywhere you feel like. This can be while she is showering, cooking meals or just sleeping.

A wise man will always keep his woman wanting for more and having sex in every corner of the house will help to keep her aroused at all times. Therefore, just one glance of you will be enough to set a fire in her, and this will help you both achieve the utmost pleasure in the most tempting and seducing manner.

Some men even have sex in a car with their girlfriends and wives just because it helps them express their dominance and sexual appetite in the most seducing ways. Sex in toilet rooms and airplane toilets are one of the ways by which you can show your dominance over your partner.

This allows you to make your partner realize that she is accessible to you at all times and this can make your sex life that much better!  


Helpful Advice for Women

While most of these ways for men, women too like to be dominant with their partner especially when they know that he will not succumb so easily.

Therefore, a woman can kiss him aggressively without warning, catch him with his dick and make him follow or rub her palm over his genitals and thighs to let him know about her mood. All these things are the basic steps of dominance which need to be followed before advancing to the higher levels.

The higher levels of dominance can be handcuffing the male partner and giving him an oral pleasure which is extremely wild and dirty. You can also show your dominance by biting his shaft in a playful manner which will make him squeal with excitement and anticipation.

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You can even express your dominance by unbuckling his belt and trousers all by yourself without letting him touch you in any manner. Some of the women have been on the extreme level of dominance by nailing the anus of their men by using dildos or vibrating anal plugs.

All these ways tell us that women too like to dominate and some men like to get dominated, and there is nothing unusual if they feel that way. While you appreciate women being aggressive in bed, you can also appreciate men who like to be submissive, and there is nothing gay or unmanly in doing so.

Sex has to be passionate, and dominance can be displayed by either side to make it more happening and exciting. 


These were the ways which tell you how to be dominant in your bedroom or any room where you like to have sex with your partner. If you have other interesting ideas and kinky things to share you can always write to us.

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