Sex is a curious topic, especially for virgins.
Many myths and false beliefs revolve around sex in our society, because of which the people who are about to commence their sex life often get worried and anxious.
However, there is no need to worry as a teenager or even as a mature adult if you do not have any sexual experience.
You have to be open about it because if you are embarrassed or shy while expressing yourself, then you will not be able to discuss things freely with your partner and it will affect your sex life.
Today, we will share some key tips and guidelines with our readers that will help them to crack their first nut blissfully. So let's get started!
#1 Don't overestimate sex
Sex is just like any other physical need and therefore, you must never overestimate it. Some individuals, especially teenagers, think so much about it that they tend to imagine non-existential things. Sex will make you feel good, but that doesn't mean that your first experience will always be a memorable one.
For example, most men tend to ejaculate prematurely because they either get too excited or too nervous during their first time. Similarly, girls get so nervous and anxious that they might not even feel anything during their first time.
People tend to enjoy their sex life only after gaining sufficient experience. This experience also includes the ways of doing things in a perfect way to stimulate the sexual energies of your partner.
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Therefore, there is no need to think or worry too much before your first time. For example, you might wonder whether you will be able to please your partner or not, will your partner like it with you, do you have the potential to perform well in the bed, etc.
Thoughts like these might make you tense. Too much pressure can spoil the pleasure, especially for the ones who aren't much aware of the nuances of physical proximity. Also, sometimes guys and girls try to emulate the performances by porn stars in adult movies.
They must understand that it is merely an acting performance, and most of it is not real. For example, a young boy who has seen girls screaming at the top of their voices while having sex will think that he was not up to the mark if his girl does not make similar voices while making love.
These things may pressurize you unnecessarily, increasing your stress levels that may also affect your sex life negatively. We recommend you to try to feel and understand things naturally instead of watching too many porn movies or reading cheap adult books.
#2 Always Engage in safe sex
Most of us think that guys wear condoms only to protect themselves from HIV or Aids. Of course, condom protects you from HIV but that is not its sole purpose. Sometimes, your partner might be going through some infection or might be suffering from diseases that can be transmitted sexually.
These diseases are commonly known as STDs. HIV is also a form of STD, but other STDs are equally dangerous, and they can prove to be fatal if not cured in time. Therefore, just using condoms or contraceptive pills is not enough to tackle these issues.
One must also be aware of the symptoms of STDs so that they can discuss it freely with their partner or with a doctor who is an expert in this.
We know that you must be pretty excited since it is your first time, but you also must ensure that your partner does not suffer from a disease because of you. Therefore, you must check a few things to ensure that you are engaging in safe sex.
These are the common symptoms that can be observed in people who are suffering from STDs:
Even if you observe one of the symptoms, you must consult a doctor or sex consultant before engaging in sex. Girls must not depend only on guys for carrying condoms because they might forget it at times. Therefore, they must carry some condoms as well.
This is also because they would want to avoid pregnancy even if their partner is sexually healthy and active. Moreover, there is no reason to worry about STDs, as most of them can be completely cured with the help of antibiotics and other types of medication.
We recommend you to ensure carefree sex with the help of condoms and by ensuring that you are sexually healthy.
#3 Relax & Relish the Foreplay
Foreplay is a must irrespective of whether it is your first time or if you have done it a dozen times before. Foreplay not only activates your sexual energy but it also warms up your body. Therefore, you do not experience any pain or discomfort during penetration.
This is because foreplay produces vaginal juices or pre-cum that acts as a natural lubricant and reduces friction during penetration.
However, you must also keep in mind that the first penetration can be painful for both the guy and girl. You must stop at once if you are experiencing too much pain during penetration or are not able to proceed further. Also, you can consult a physician to examine the reasons for the same.
Girls get too stressed by thinking that their vagina will bleed a lot. Some women tend to bleed more than others, but it doesn't mean that it will be excruciatingly painful or fatal. Bleeding is natural as the hymen opens up during first penetration.
The amount of bleeding depends on the thickness of the hymen. Also, some girls are born without a hymen, or it breaks naturally if they indulge in excessive cycling or swimming. Therefore, there is no need to overthink about bleeding.
Further, the boys must not judge a girl’s virginity status if she doesn't bleed. Do not think about unnecessary things as it will only spoil your first experience. The guys should not get frightened if the girl bleeds while having sex.
However, if she bleeds profusely, then you must stop at once and take her to a doctor. Most of the couples and even the first-timers like to make love in the dark. The first-timers must carry a torch, or also the torch of your cell-phone would be enough to keep a check on the bleeding.
Enjoy the foreplay slowly as there is no need to rush. Engaging in lots of kissing and cuddling is a must for the first-timers because they should get comfortable with each other's body before doing the real thing.
Also, it might pain during the first penetration, but you will also experience immense pleasure at the same time. As a result, if you are only experiencing pain without any pleasure, then you must be doing something wrong.
Video: How to Foreplay - A Simple Guide
In this case, it would be a better decision to stop because increasing the pace of the thrusts might make things worse for you and your partner. Foreplay is a must, especially if you are a girl because it arouses you and opens up the vaginal tract or to accommodate the penis.
As a result, penetration becomes much easier and less painful. Foreplay is beneficial for the guys as well as it makes their penis hard and erect, which makes the penetration much more relaxed and pain-free. Therefore, we can see that foreplay is beneficial for both parties.
If your vagina/penis does not secrete pre-cum enough even after the foreplay, then you can use lube or a skin-friendly cream to penetrate comfortably and smoothly.
#4 Express yourself freely
There is no need to be shy or concerned while sharing your feelings with your partner. Different people have different preferences when it comes to sex. Therefore, you might dislike some things that your partner might do to you during foreplay or intercourse.
You must always maintain healthy communication with your partner because it will help you to discuss sex freely. However, first-timers might not have a clear idea about their desires
They might actually like those things in real life that they dream watching a porn movie. Therefore, first-timers should not instruct their partner too early, but instead, they need to be patient enough to experience the lovemaking ways of their partners.
Despite that, you must always try to remain clear in your mind right from the start. If some habits of your partner irritate you, then you must convey it clearly to your partner so that he/she can avoid them the next time
Also, remember that your first experience might be overwhelming and might leave a lasting impression on your mind. We observe that those people who experience great joy during their first time do not get that kick or feeling in the next few times.
This is also because your body takes much more time to recuperate once you lose virginity. Therefore, we would advise you to not plan a second session soon after your first time. Let your body relax and let your body enjoy the bliss that comes after losing virginity.
You don't have to share or discuss all the things with your partner. Some things can be shared with your best friend to get a third party opinion on an issue that both you and your partner might be facing. Finding a person with whom you can share your emotions freely is key to a happy sex life.
For the first-timers, it would be a great thing if they find that quality in their partner. However, if your partner is unwilling to understand your feelings, you should decide if you wish to switch your partner because you must not compromise with your urges and feelings for the rest of your life.
#5 Don't Rely on your partner too much
First-timers tend to rely on their partner a bit too much. It is a good thing to trust your partner, but it might not be the wisest thing when it comes to sex.
For example, some boys like to show that they know everything about sex, but when it comes to execution, they might fail miserably. Similarly, a girl might hesitate to take control when her guy is failing to please her just because she does not want him to feel bad about himself.
However, as we have discussed earlier, we cannot expect our partner to do everything to us. Ideally, those sex partners who can enjoy both dominant and submissive positions tend to fulfil each other more successfully as compared to the ones in which only one person dominates the physical relations.
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Young couples need to keep all this in mind, especially if they want their first time to be memorable. Also, if you rely entirely on your partner, it means that you are less informed and less prepared for making love.
This might deteriorate your performance, and your partner might not feel satisfied even after an orgasm. Your priority should be to please your partner while enjoying the experience of lovemaking. Therefore, you must try to learn and focus on all the things that will make him/her feel good.
However, do not worry about it too much because trying hard to please your partner is also not a good thing since it might leave you dissatisfied in the end. Also, it can happen that your partner might be getting his/her information from a mischievous friend or adult movies.
This might prove to be dangerous, especially since you both don't have the experience to handle awkward positions.
You might be tempted to try anal sex, but we recommend first-timers to avoid it because it is more difficult and unnatural to penetrate a virgin butt. One must try anal sex only after gaining experience in different positions and types of sex.
Anal sex requires a lot of lube and other techniques. Indulging in it without the necessary skills can prove to be painful for both the guy and girl. However, first-timers can try different types of oral sex like blowjobs, giving heads, face sitting, position 69, etc. to enjoy more in each other's company.
#6 Don't Rush Towards an Orgasm
If you genuinely want to enjoy a close and intimate relationship with your partner, then you must not carry any unnecessary baggage in your mind. For example, people overthink about reaching orgasm and don't give much importance to the process that can be as satisfying as the orgasm itself.
Therefore, we would suggest the first-timers should relish proximity with their partner without thinking about the climax or orgasm. It is a proven fact that you tend to discharge quickly if you keep overthinking about the orgasm.
A better option would be to focus on pleasing your partner instead of getting overly excited. It is natural for the first-timers to get too excited, and in the process, they try to rush towards orgasm. However, discharging semen quickly might leave both you and your partner dissatisfied.
Also, it is not guaranteed that you would experience an orgasm, especially if you are a virgin and a woman. It is observed that many women do not even reach the verge of orgasm during their first few times.
This is because their body is not prepared to react to the wide range of feelings and emotions that they experience for the first time in their lives. The lovemaking process can make them feel different emotions, such as fear, excitement, nervousness, anxiety, etc. Therefore, it might happen that they might not reach the climax.
Similarly, a guy might ejaculate too early or too late during his initial encounter. However, this has nothing to do with his potency as his body experiences a wide range of feelings, and it gets difficult to cope with each one of them simultaneously
Likewise, controlling an orgasm is an art, and it might require many months or even years to master it completely. Therefore, the first-timers should spend their energy on foreplay, and they should penetrate only when they start experiencing strange and arousing sensations, which are symptoms of reaching an orgasm.
Video: Slow Sex for Deeper, Fuller & Stronger Orgasms
It is a known fact that people experience a louder orgasm only when they are making love with familiar people. Therefore, if your first time is with a stranger, then you must not expect too much from the sexual encounter.
Moreover, some people tend to fake an orgasm just to please their partners or because of their ego. This is entirely wrong since faking an orgasm is not a healthy sign for your relationship.
#7 Be Patient with Your Partner
If you are engaging in a physical relationship for the first time, and your partner might not have much experience in these matters. Therefore, there are high chances that he or she might ejaculate early without waiting for your permission.
This might confuse or irritate you because you may still be turned on. However, these things do happen, especially when it is your first time. If your partner does not satisfy your urges, then it does not mean that he/she will never make you happy.
Maybe he/she will need some more sessions to get hold of things. Therefore, we ask you to be patient with your partner and try to be kind to them even if they aren't great in bed. Furthermore, you can always ask them the favour of oral pleasure, in case you are still feeling horny as hell.
Communicating with each other through gestures is essential while having sex. The first-timers might not have that kind of physical connection. Therefore, they can speak directly when they are about to reach an orgasm, or they can ask for the permission of their partner before releasing the juices.
You can even discuss the things that were great and the things that weren'tafterwards to improve your experience over some time. Do not just focus on expressing yourself but also try to listen and understand what your partner wants to communicate.
Remember the suggestions of your partner and try to implement them during future sessions because it is the only way that the first-timers can use to enhance their performance.
#8 Stick to a Comfortable Position
As a first-timer, you might be excited to try different types of sex positions. However, you might not have the necessary skills and experience to manage all the positions conveniently.
Most of the positions are not meant for the first-timers as they are difficult to execute. Therefore, you can try some positions to figure out the most comfortable position that is both effective and easy to execute.
The easiest and comfortable position for a first-timer is the missionary position in which a woman spreads wide enough to accommodate the man between her. After that, the man penetrates the woman from above.
The initial few thrusts should be slow, and men must ensure that their partner is not in pain or agony. After confirming it, the man can increase the pace of his thrusts. Several other sex positions are exciting and kinky, but you can leave them for your future endeavours, especially if you are the first-timer.
#9 Don't Compare Your First Time with Anyone Else
Some people like to share their experiences with their friends. It might not be a bad thing to do so, especially since you require their support and advice in most of your matters.
However, your friend may exaggerate his/her own experience and present it tastefully just to make you feel jealous. However, first-time experience varies from person to person.
It is not a wise thing to compare your first time's experience with the experience of your best friend or any other friend. The comparison will not only make you feel weird, but you can also lose some of your confidence which is essential if you want to enjoy your future mating session.
If you want a solution to your problem, then you can always seek advice from an online sex expert. So, it is not necessary to share all the minute details of your first encounter with your friend because there are so many other ways through which you can get solutions to your issues related to sex.
#10 Tell Your Partner it is Your First Time (But only if you want to)
Many individuals think that revealing their virginity status to their potential partners might endanger their chances of getting laid. It is true to some extent, but you don't have to worry so much if you trust your partner.
However, there is no need to reveal the gospel if you just have a casual hook-up with a friend. It depends on the person and situation when it comes to letting your partner know about your virginity status.
For the girls, the bleeding might let their partner know about their virgin status, but they don't have to bother about it unless it makes a significant difference to their relationship.
Some guys tend to hide their virginity because of their ego or false bravado, but it is okay if they feel comfortable in doing so unless they are in a relationship with someone who truly matters to them.
These were some tips that would help the first-timers. The idea is not to give it too much importance because it's just a passing phase. However, doing it in the right way will open new doors of happiness and success in their lives.
We hope that all the virgins will make their best effort to give a perfect start to their sex lives!