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What does Switch mean in a BDSM relationship? How can You Explore this Side of Your Kink Fetishes?

Do you have dominant as well as submissive characteristics? If yes, then you can be a switch. To be a switch means that you have dominant and submissive characteristics in your sexuality.

A lot of people think that in a BDSM relationship, a person is either dominant or submissive.

However, there is this third side, Switch, that is quite misunderstood as does not come under any predefined set of characteristics.

In this article, we will know more about Switch in a BDSM relationship and how you can switch safely.

BDSM Switch: Complete A-Z Guide (2022)

What does Switch mean in BDSM?

When we talk about BDSM, some terms come to our mind like bondage, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism.
A BDSM relationship does not only revolve around being dominant and submissive.

In fact, there is a third side of the BDSM that is often overlooked that falls between the two: “Switch”. There are many shades to this kink and many people enjoy being a Switch in a BDSM relationship.

A switch is basically someone who loves to engage in both dominant and submissive roles. These are those people who do not fall exclusively within the dominant or submissive category.

They love both topping and bottoming while having fun in the bedroom.
Some of the aspects related to switching are:

  • You can be dominant with one partner and submissive with the other
  • Switching is not only involved in a sexual relationship
  • You can have your favorite role while enjoying switching at the same time
  • Depending on an emotional need, you can switch your roles


Who can Switch? A guy or a girl

Anyone can be a switch no matter what gender they are. BDSM involves domination and submission and no matter whether you are a boy or girl, it all depends on your preferences.

Even a guy wants to enjoy the show of one girl topping another girl, just like in porn movies. However, society sees this as taboo and does not accept this role reversal easily. These persons are tagged as unmanly or weak.

Even if you are in a vanilla relationship, you can switch. Switching isn’t only for those in the BDSM community.

There are lots of vanilla couples who love to switch their roles in the bedroom for fun and something new.

How to know if you are a Switch?

Many times you like to be in control in the bedroom, which means a dominant.

However, every once in a while you feel something would be good if your partner control them, that means a submissive. Hence, a switch is someone who likes to be dominant and submissive depending on what they are feeling at the moment.

A switch does not have to be an even 50:50 split between a dominant and a submissive. Here are some clues:

  • Outside the bedroom, you are more dominant, while in the bedroom, you are more submissive
  • You really enjoy topping from the bottom
  • Giving as well as receiving pain is what you want
  • You like bratty behavior
  • You are submissive, but someone has told you that you’d be a better dominant and vice versa
  • You have been dominant in the past relationship and enjoyed it a lot

Like it is normal to have different feelings and opinions, why can’t switching the roles in the bedroom be okay?

Just because you do not switch between dominant and submissive that often, does not mean you don’t enjoy both. Every switch has his/her own patterns and desires in the bed.

How to talk to your partner about switching? 

If you are starting fresh with your partner, it can be scary to open up about your sexual desires and fantasies. However, if you share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, your relationship and bond get stronger.

Important things to remember while talking to your partner about switching:

  • Keep aside quite a time to discuss the topic without any rush
  • Do not roll out your desire like it’s a breaking news
  • Do not be sorry about your sexual desires, in fact, be more calm and confident about them
  • Reinforce the fact that how excited it would be for you to explore switching with your partner
  • Give your partner adequate time to process the information
  • Just give them clear information about switching and how can you include this in your sex life

What to do if you are a beginner switch? 

After disclosing your desire for switching to your partner, give him/her some time ot think about it, and might be they will be interested in incorporating it into your sex life.

Some important points to keep in mind if you are a beginner in switching:

  • Do not dive deep into new elements of BDSM such as bondage and impact play
  • If you are a beginner, get slowly into it, start with a simple blindfold ot heat things up
  • Do not explore extreme things like whips and chains, try out switching in the kinky sex first
  • Acknowledge and play your power dynamics and imbalances of power safely, consensually, and in a controlled environment
  • Start by trying out dirty talking and telling them what you want to do to them or them to you

Just start slowly and take your own time before trying out some harder BDSM as a switch. 

The important thing is to remember that every person’s sexual desires are unique and trying out new things is the only way to find out what you like and what you don’t like.

Based on your comforts, you decide what a switch means to you.

What are the perks of switching?

If you are in a dominant and submissive relationship, that does not mean you have to play the same role all of the time.

Switching is a great way to find out what the other side has to offer and you may find it more than you expected. There are can be some aspects of the other side that you can explore and like by switching.

The other important perk of being a switch is that you can play in different ways with different partners.

Along with a more well-rounded perspective, you also get a lot more chances at orgasms and you can even be a better submissive or dominant.

Switching between different roles in the bedroom can be also liberating in a mental sense.

Swtichin your roles between a dominant and a submissive gives you great chances to communicate your desires with your partner, decrease boredom as this could be fun, and stimulate creativity by exploring different headspaces and playing different roles.

What are the demerits of switching? 

Like there are many perks of being a switch, there also come a lot of demerits to switching. Here are some of the things you should take care of:

  • You can become addicted to it
  • You should be practicing switching safely and making sure your partner is on board with this experiment
  • Constant consent and safety are vital in switching as any BDSM play can involve risks
  • While in any sexual situation, make sure you are communicating with your partner about adding some new kinks
  • Keep in mind the risks of STIs
  • In some forms of BDSM plays, make sure you are using effective barrier methods

What are the common problems faced and how to overcome them?

Both dominant and submissive roles have their own predefined aspects in a BDSM play.

However, it is not the same with the switch. Being a switch tends to have its own set of unique challenges. Here are a few examples of obstacles that you might encounter while switching:

What do you do when your partner denies switching?

The most important thing in any relationship is the consent of your partner.

You should not force your partner to incorporate switching in your relationship just because you want to.

His/her opinion also matters and switching should not be tried until and unless he/she approves of it.

You can, of course, encourage or talk to your partner to be more dominant, submissive, or kinky.

With the right approach and some encouragement, you and your partner can try out switching easily.

Is it necessary to be a switch every time?

A person can be both dominant and submissive and many believe that experiences from both sides give you a great perspective.

Switching helps you develop a great understanding of your partner.

However, that does not mean you have to switch every time. It totally depends on your mood and letting it happen organically is the right way to do it. You do not need to be a switch every time.

How can you be a switch 24/7?

There is no predefined set of rules for being a switch 24/7.

Mostly the couples really do well in switching 24/7 by deciding on setting some specific areas of the life where they do not switch, like finances and parenting.

Just make sure you do not rush into switching between the roles.

First, get to know your partner and have your full faith in them. Always keep in mind your partner’s needs and desires and when they would like to switch roles for them. Just do not make it all about you. 

How to decide whose turn is to switch?

There are practically unlimited ways to decide who will be switching. Among all of them, the most likable is to let it happen organically.

Just let the mood hit you and if your relationship is some years old, you will find a good rhythm.

Over time, it becomes very easy to pick up on each other’s desires and to know when he/she needs a switch.

In the end, if none of this works for you, you can, of course, set alternate days for switching or set your roles for specific situations.

What is the best way to switch during a scene?

Just going with the flow and letting it happen organically is the best way to switch. While in the bedroom, if your mood wants to be more dominant, submissive, masochistic, or sadistic, just go with it without any second thoughts.

You can also alternate your roles or decide upon some specific situations where you would like to switch.

It is important that you keep in mind the safety of your partner while making a switch. This way switching would be fun all the time.

Conclusion

Switching can be a lot of fun and adventurous, no matter, whether you are dominant or submissive, guy or girl, vanilla or into kink.

Switching is not only limited to sexual relationships. It is beyond that, you can try switching in your normal life also and you might enjoy it more than you expected. 

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